General Chat

I don`t have children myself, but do you mothers find it difficult to get a healthy balance between teaching your children to be polite and not ignorant, while at the same time, telling them not to talk to strangers. It seems to me, that by telling them not to talk to strangers, you are, in effect, telling them to ignore people who speak to them, which is not really polite. How do you mothers cope with this dilemma?

A letter on Teletext today points out that, with the end of corporal punishment (which, as "everyone knows", only teaches you to be violent), violence has increased in society; since the end of the death penalty, murder rates have soared. Prisons seem to be little more than holiday camps, and are obviously not a deterrent, as we now have more than ever, and they are all full. The main benefit with corporal punishment was that it was quick, painful enough to regret (I received the cane myself, and never repeated my mistakes (well, apart from the one of getting caught)!), and didn't place the offender under the tutelage of more experienced offenders. I am still in two minds about the death penalty, but it does have the advantage of removing evil people from the world; perhaps a "living death" of a prison with no contact with the outside world could be a compromise? Rob

I agree respect has to be earned and it should start at home -but today it doesn't - Criminals make a mockery of the Justice system as they know punishment is minimal (fines - what good are they - none whatsoever - they don't teach anybody a lesson do they) kids make a mockery of education because they know teachers can't touch them - parents daren't smack their kids - Need I go on - I don't think though that nusery to 11 yr olds are as bad as 11 - 16 yr olds.

I don't think that being threatened with physical punishment teaches children to respect adults, though it may control their behaviour. Respect has to be earned, it can't be forced on people. However, when I was a child, you did have to do what other adults told you to do and any adult around would tell you off if you were doing something you shouldn't. People are put off telling off other people's kids as the parents get stroppy about it. I work in a school and although we don't have any rough elements, the way the children speak to their parents astounds me. One girl (aged 4) in reception came to school without something she wanted and said to her dad "You'll have to go and get it then" to which her dad replied "OK darling" not "you'll have to remember it tomorrow". This same child handed her water bottle to me to put away for her. I said I liked people to say please if they wanted something, and that she could put it away for herself. She looked amazed at this idea! The way some children carry on it is quite clear they see all adults as servants. Courtesy and good manners are instilled by demonstrating them to children. Mine were taught to say please, thankyou and pass all the cakes to everyone else before they had any. nell

bet them knuckles were sore, Linda, they wouldn't be allowed to touch the kids now!.

Lets start a petition and send it to Downing Street - To bring back Discipline in Schools What do you think?

Evening David, spoken like a true father!.. you two have missed that Coronation St quiz thread earlier!..

Hope you find another one then!. If your'e up in those small hours, you'd better chat to poor Fred, think he's having trouble sleeping!..

Evening Linda, sorry to hear this, hadn't better send him there then!.

I think alot of the problem if I dare say lies with us as we give them what they want to a degree eg: mobiles, pc, computer hand held games and the list goes on, when i wsa a little girl we used to play at mums and dads with our dolls, libraries with our books, tea parties with mums old pots and pans, etc kids today don't know they are born and don't know what it is to play - They are spoilt and it is us that has done it, but for those of us who were brought up with respect and discipline I would like to think that we have instilled it in our youngsters. I have never hit my two to instill the respect and discipline I demand from them towards me and other elders I have only had to look at them, My son is now 16 and my daughter 9. They even pass comments on rude children or ADULTS and there are alot of them around also. Whatever happened to vacating our seats on the buses to let an adult sit down - I'll tell you - we abandoned public transport and started ferrying the kids by car - we don't walk anymore as we are always in a rush.

There seems to be too many youngsters hanging around with nothing to do, why aren't they at school or college, or even at work, where do they get their money from, they have the latest of everything phones clothes trainers etc, surely life must be one big bore. Perhaps we need one of those camps, they had on channel 4, that American Brat Camp!..

Hi Tracy i totally agree, it never did me any harm, i was always polite and respected my elders, i still do. My 5 kids were all brought up with discipline, and are nice adults that will do anything for anyone. The eldest 4 were all smacked, but my youngest 16 has never been smacked and is quite proud of the fact. My sons partner has 3 kids and her 13 year old boy is so rude to her, i told him off a couple of months ago, and he has been polite to her ever since, as he knows any nonsense and i'll sort him out, (i must still be scary.) plus he would be sent to live with me, and he knows that he would have strict rules. I also think national service should be brought back for both sexes, it would install alot into todays kids. I also watched the 1960's school programme and the change in some of those kids was amazing. Plus there is so much technology around today, some parents just don't do the things we had to, its go and play in your room and less family activities, playing board games together going for picnics etc, i know that there are still alot of parents that do these things, but unfortunately alot will pass on the knowledge that they have been brought up with. i'm 42 by the way, so these aren't old fashion ideas, and i worked with learning difficulties where a certain amount of discipline has to be upheld. It does make you think what the future holds for future generations to come. Living a life of fear only out for themselves, without any community spirit. sandra

Hear hear, I endorse those sentiments. Watched the last of a short series where underperforming children were put into a school and given 60's style education for a month (except was no cane) they all did very well, and it improved their behaviour, most of them didn't want to go back to normal life!! Val

I'm glad to hear that Tracey, it's good to know there ARE parents out there who do bother to teach their children the rights and wrongs of life. Well done! Jo.

I'm the same - can't stand rude kids and I do my best to ensure that my little boy is polite. The only thing is though because he says please and thank you, shouts Morning to people in passing always the same comment is made - oh he is so old fashioned and what a funny little lad. Why is being well mannered so funny? A lot of the kids get their rudeness from their parents. The amount of times I hear parents at the school gates calling the teachers worse than dirt (and I am being polite here) and saying they are going to get them and sort them out, well what does that teach their kids. I make a point of never criticizing the teachers in front of my son even when something has got my back up. I want him to respect his teachers. Elf

Having just read the thread on evil people and somebody mentioning the fact that some people do not respect themselves - I agree totally. Children of today (and I'm not that old myself) have no respect whatsoever for anybody including the teachers - When I was a little girl - I used to get smacked if I was naughty - the threat of the strap, slipper & blackboard rubber at school was enough to keep us all in check, or a policeman in the street who would give you a clip around the ear. Todays society unfortunately is one of unruly children who think that whatever they do is ok, funny and that they will never be caught - If they are they are never punished, they are NOT FRIGHTENED of no-one hence the lack of respect to their elders. THINGS WILL ONLY GET WORSE if we don't act now. Maybe the GC Members should get a petition together to bring back discipline in schools and the justice system. Sorry to waffle but I hate rude children, and I know it is not only kids - (I do love kids I have two of my own and they I must say are very well behaved, very respectful and very well mannered - i never have a bad report from school about them or complaints from the neighbours either) - but todays kids will grow into adults and if something is not done now the country will eventually become one of hooliganism and all the rest of it.