General Chat

Why do men find it hard to express their feelings verbally or physically?

Isn't that one of the biggest mysteries of the Universe, Tracy? I've got one like that too!

I think they are programmed from birth that 'big boys don't cry' and from that they become completely numb emotionally - unless of course there is sport involved and then something seems to click on in their brains! lol Magsx

It's their mother's fault

some men do some men dont and vice versa, im not any good at it at all, i dont show my feelings, i show mine by doing things for people, just cant do it. crazy i know. should have been born a man, LOL.

Bob Why is it their mothers fault?

That's what I want to know Bob, why do you say it's their mothers fault? Come on express your feelings and tell us. Jo.

I believe a man is more of a man if he CAN express how he feels. Jo.

I agree Jo

Sounds like a bad stereotype to me.

Why's that then John?

I can express my feelings perfectly well to my wife and son - physically and verbally. I know quite a few males like it too! It's easy - if you love someone you tell them and you show them. If you're upset, you cry. It's not rocket science.

You are a lucky guy John - but there are alot of males who can't express or show their feelings or emotions - because they have been told that it is a sissy thing to do - or had it drummed into them that they are a man and they must act like one - you must have had alot of love and affection showered on you as you were growing up - In the 20's thro' to the 60's larger families were born and the parents didn't always do this.

You're right Tracy, I knew I was loved when I was growing up (I was born in the 60s). My son certainly knows his mum and dad love him too!

I too was born in the 60's and I knew I was loved too, I have learned one thing about you John you don't mince your words do you? Are you from the South? You are very direct in what you say - i hope your son grows up to be like you in as much as he can express his feelings without feeling that he is not a man.

I need some emoticons!!!! Between Birmingham, Coventry and Leicester.

We must be very lucky, My husband came from a large family in the 50's and my parents split when I was 5 in '62, but both of us wouldn't tell our best friends what we tell each other. We cry, laugh, sulk, but strangley enough, never argued, disagreed yes, but have never had a full blown row yet, even after 25 years! Are we odd? And as for our son! must know he's loved, tell's us more than is good for him! or us! lol

There is physiological evidence that the part of the human brain that controls speech and communication is less well developed in most males, than it is in most females. (Yes, even relative to any other comparison you may be tempted to make!) Human behaviour is also, in part, conditioned by the process of socialisation. Historically, the role of men in society has centred on competition for the resources that promote survival and prosperity; whereas the role of women has centred on nurturing and prospering the nuclear family. The one role inclined towards putting on a brave face when confronting adversaries; the other, towards tenderness when binding the family together. OK, that may be a cliche; but in near history, and still in parts of the world today, these influences were and are a powerful part of the social dynamic. That is not to say that such male inclinations are now, or ever were, appropriate, intelligent, or helpful; but then the expression of our feelings concerns our emotions, and emotions are no more rational for a man than they are for a woman. The 'new man' of course, procalims himself to be far above such things. Well, in suggesting that he is above these things, he gives the game away. It's not just in war and sport, that we instinctively compete; if it takes being a 'new man' to come top of the pile, we'll do even that. According to the sagas, when Vikings journeyed to maraude, they left behind some men with the women and children. Allegedly, these men counted themselves to be the unlucky ones, unable to indulge in conquest, and the like. Perhaps that is what was expected of them. In an ideal world, society would focus not only upon the 'liberation' of women, but also upon encouraging men to be what they can and should be. However, the world is not ideal, as we quickly learn when we leave or parent(s)' side, and go to school, and go to work, and go to war ... and then we are found wanting.