General Chat

thankyou all for your replys,im going to bore you now. its not the first breakdown ive had but i didnt have my mum to help me this time (she knows all about my past ect) but we had a hugh fallout weeks ago after reading her letter it looks as though ive gained a dad and lost my mum.so a word of warning when a family member says they dont mind about you finding another parent make sure they really dont before continueing. even if i was 100% in the wrong i always thought parents where suppose to love and forgive their children no matter what they'd done i still cant belive how my mums been thankyou for letting me moan tina xx

Oh Tina, that's not a moan, we're your friends on here and we will support you. It's very sad that your mum feels this way, but perhaps when she said she didn't mind, that was how she felt then .... but her feelings changed. Might be a silly question, but have you tried to talk to her about it all? And does she realise how poorly you've been? I also know from bitter experience that tracing members of your birth family can have very unexpected results. I'm sure that everyone on here will do their best for you, don't be afraid to come on here and say how you're feeling. Take care Tina, love and hugs, Mandy xx

Hi Tina Does your mum know about your latest breakdown. Although she may be smarting or sulking at present shes still mum and Im sure she will come round .

Hi Tina, My husband never really got on with his mum,when his father divorced her when he was two,I think she blamed my husband for it all.She wanted to go travelling and a wee boy of two kept her back.She favoured his much younger brother when he was growing up and still has the ability to hurt him.Even though he was treated badly by her,he still would have done anything for her so when I found his dad after 30 years,we checked with her if she objected to him getting in touch and she said to go for it.However,now she is more stand-offish and obnoxious than normal and quite frankly,we can take her or leave her,if she carries on,we dont have to visit her or keep in touch. It is sad to see after all this time that they still bear grudges.His dad is a kind,easy-going man who adores his son and grandson,easy to see why they divorced! You can rely on your friends here to be here for you,there is always some of us on,Love,Fee B x

hi mum does know about me being ill and about me waiting to see a bowel surgeon i tred writing to her but the reply that came back i couldnt belive, weve never fallen out like this before ,when my hubby went to stay with her for a day as he was working over there she totally ignored him that was before we fell out big time,never seen this side to mum before i really cant see a way of making things right. wish i'd of spoken up before instead of pretending things were ok,i didnt want to burden anyone on here but now i know its okay i will thankyou so much tina xx

Hi Tina Never feel that youre alone. We are all here for a shoulder to cry on, just concentrate on getting well again. Then when youre ready, deal with your mum. Elaine xx

As Mandy says we are all here for you. So write it all down, get it off your chest. Your Mum will come round Mums usually do because of the bond between you. Take care, luv Jo. XXX

Pinky, I would write to her and tell her how ill you are and that you would really value her support right now. Tell her there is no one like mum and how much you are missing her, I'm sure she wont be able to refuse a request like that. I hope everything is soon alright with you, both health wise and with your mum. Love June xx

hiya tina i am so sorry for you and i hope things soon start to get better for you and as the girls have said we are your friends on here

Hi Tina, don't think you are a burden, we are all here for each other, I found that out when my cat was ill last week and we finaly had to make the desision to let her go, the support was second to non, as for your mother well all I can say is that, she is most probable hurting that you wanted to find this info, I know she said it would be ok, but she might have thought you wouldn't find it now you have it's a different story, give her time, if she dosn't come round then I'm sorry for you but the only way I could cope when my stepdad behaved in a manor that was wrong for him and my mother stopped speaking to me was to think I have been a good daughter, I have always been there for her when she was either down or ill, now she isn't there for me, so I told her I was looking for family, silly me hopeing that she might want to talk but still nothing, so now we don't have contact, but I still have my husband and son's plus a bigger family, so if you keep going she might just suprise you and suddenly start talking one day, I hope so, but have a good moan, we are there for you (((HUGS))) see big hugs for you... Bev

Hi Tina I am so sorry that you have not been well and that you have not had the support from your mum like you would expect. I wonder if she said she didnot mind you looking for dad as she did not expect you to find him. Now that you have, she could be feeling left out or something ,I know you would not do that ,but she could be feeling like that. Hope you are better soon and things get better with your Mum.Brenda

Oh babe, it must really hurt you!! My mother is a drama queen and an attention seeker and when I left hubby she kept sending me emails saying how much she hated my dad and was going to leave him.... I so wanted her support, but worked out that I was never going to get it!! All she did was phone all the relatives and tell them what I was going through and how it was going to affect HER!! Sometimes babe you just have to let go for a while and see how things pan out.... she'll come round in time... write one final letter and say that you will not contact her again if that's what she choses but you miss her and would rather things could be different!! Put the ball back in her court!!