General Chat

Steedie has beaten me to it Rose surely some other family member can take some of this load off you from time to time ,and give you a bit of respite?. I would do as suggested and lie about toilet needs,after all ,you have been paying into the system all your life ,and it's a disgrace you can't get the help when it's really needed. You must get some help or you will land up making yourself ill,ask the dhss what they intend to do when you collapse and they have another sick carer on their hands .Fred.ptfg.

My dear Rose, I really feel for you. My mother is 88 and going the same way. She lives on own her but it is a constant worry as she can no longer care for herself but refuses to go where she will be looked after and will not have anybody in to help. All I can say is get on to Social Services again and tell them you need help, not just monetary (although if you had that you could maybe get someone in to "Mum sit" for you for a few hours so you get some rest yourself). Rose, do whatever it takes to make the Social Services take notice and listen. I am thinking of you and if you need someone to talk to please get in touch. Jean x.

Thanks I just needed to off load. I do manage,but I don't know how. The application form which I filled in for AA was all slanted towards incontinence. If they arn't incontinent then you don't stand a snowballs chance. Unfortunately if you do claim ,you have to support the claim with Dr recommendation and a Social Services Report Rose

Rose, can you not get any help from social services with caring for your mum? I admire how you are looking after your mum and agree it probably doesnt feel like a chore but you do need time to yourself too. I hope you manage to sort something out and get a bit more rest. Sheila x

Rosemary, i'm so sorry to hear what you're going through,i wish i could offer you some advice but having never been in your situation i can't but i'll be here if you need to chat, sorry i couldn't be more helpful, Karen

Rose, how on earth do they expect you to be able to manage all this, is there no other family memebers who can help you out a little?? xxxx

Lie & tell them she does need the loo at night, its your word against theirs. Were all here for you Rose, so if you need to offload we have plenty shoulders and ears... Elaine x

You may remember only a few weeks back Rita, my Mum was 90. I am afraid that since then she has been going down hill gently. She seems to have lost the plot and is finding walking more and more difficult. I have bought walking aids for her,but it seems as if she cannot relate to anything new now. She cannot learn new tricks. It is quite depressing. Over the past thre nights I have been up at 2.30 am and 3.00am and have had to get her back into bed after falls. We have had the ambulance almost every day this last week. She is so frail now. She falls asleep mid sentence and yesterday I found her on the edge of her bed half dressed and sound asleep sitting up in the middle of putting her skirt on.It was round her knees The DSS say I am not entitled to the higher rate AA AS SHE DOES NOT NEED THE LOO AT NIGHT. She may not need the loo through the night,but I get her up and dressed ,breakfasted, settled comfortably in her chair before attending to myself. I clean for her, do her washing and ironing and shop for her. I get all of her meals and put her to bed at night. I am exhausted. I don't begrudge any of it. i JUST NEED TO SLEEP Rose