General Chat

Regarding bathroom/toilet scenes, most tv thrillers/detective series have at least one scene where men all line up at urinals and chat. Not being privy (if you'll pardon the pun) to what goes on in a gent's, I asked my husband if this is typical behaviour. He told me that you spend as little time as possible in the gent's, talk to no-one, avoid eye-contact and never use a urinal next to anyone else unless all the other spaces are taken and you are desperate. nell

And of course, when entering a dark room at night, NEVER turn the light because a single match will provide enough light to illuminate a football stadium!!!

17. If you need a disguise or change of clothing - stop ANY person in the street of the same sex - rob them and their clothes will fit you perfectly

American bedsheets are two feet longer on the woman's side of the bed. American women always keep a silky dressing gown on the bed. Despite the woman spending a restless night, the gown never slides onto the floor.

Another one to remember from police films is....... whenever posing as a criminal, trying to worm your way into the heart of the underworld, you will be asked to shoot someone. You can safely do this as the gun is always empty, and you will therefore prove yourself worthy.

NEVER!!! Under any any any circumstances, stand in for someone on an action scene in Star Trek. YOU WILL BE KILLED WITHIN MINUTES!!!!!

The American's won both 1st and 2nd World wars singlehandedly.(No offence) William Wallace was not Scots, he was an Aussie.

If you're in a group of people staying in a house when there is an axe murderer on the loose it is obligatory to split up to track him down.

Police drivers are rubbish! Forever crashing into cardboard boxes, before flipping the car and rolling it AT LEAST 9 times.

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off. 2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do. 3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower. 4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization. 5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate. 6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero. 8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once. 9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage. 10) The entire British population lives in London. 11) It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight; your enemies will attack you one at a time while the others dance around you menacingly. 12) In musicals everyone you meet in the street will know all the words to the songs and the steps to the dances. 13) When captured by an evil international terrorist, guns are not necessary to defeat them, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

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