General Chat

Geoff, Excellent, one comment though, I was "Put Right" by someone re copy n paste. If you just put a title in your heading, and THEN add the poem as a REPLY , you dont lose the verses....... Felicity.........it might have been, 'E 'Ad the stick, wiv the 'Orses 'Ead 'Andle Bob

Was this the same Albert that got eaten by a lion at the zoo?

ALBERT EVACUATED by Stanley Holloway Have you heard how young Albert Ramsbottom Was evacuated from home With his mother, clean socks and a toothbrush Some syrup of figs and a comb. The stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andle They decided that they'd leave behind To keep safe with the things they weren't wanting Like their gasmasks and thinks of that kind. Pa saw them off at the station And shed a few crocodile tears As he waved them goodbye from the platform, 'Twas the best break he'd had in ten years. Ma got corner seat for young Albert Who amused all the rest of the team By breathing hot breaths on the window And writing some swear words in steam. They arrived at last somewhere in England And straight to their billet were shown Ther was one room for mother But Albert was in a small room of his own. The very first night in the blackout Young Albert performed quite a feat By hanging head first from the window And shining his torch down the street. It flashed on an A.R.P. warden Patrolling with leisurely gait; "Good Heavens," he said, "it's Tarzan, I'd better go investigate." So reading his book of instructions To make himself doubly sure Then in an official manner Proceeded to knock on the door. It was opened by Mrs Ramsbottom "Now then," said she, "what's to do." And in stern air-warden manner, he said "I'm going to interrogate you." This fair upset Mrs. Ramsbottom Her face was a picture to see "I'll have you know, you'll do nowt of the sort, I'm a respectable woman." said she. "Has your son been evacuated?" Said the A.R.P. man at the door "He'd all them things done as a baby," said mother "He's not being done anymore." "Be off now," said Mrs. Ramsbottom As she bustled him out of the porch And the A.R.P. man patted Albert And then confiscated his torch. Now that were unlucky for Albert He had no torch to see him to bed But being a bright little fellow He switched on the hal light instead. "Put out that light," a voice shouted "Where's the men of our A.R.P.?" "I've told them already" the warden replied "They take no bloody notice of me." Soon, Mrs. Ramsbottom and Albert Were feeling quite homesick and sad; So they thanked the landlady most kindly And prepared to go back home to Dad. When at last they reached home to Father They were fed up and had quite enough; But in the front parlour they found six young women And Father were doing his stuff. "Hello Mother," said Mr. Ramsbottom "Come right on in, don't be afraid, When you went away I joined Ambulance Corps I'm instructing the girls in first aid." "First aid?," said Mrs. Ramsbottom With a horrible look on her brow. "If ever you wanted first aid in your life, By gum, you'll be wanting it now."