General Chat

Oi cud 'ere the Voice...........she's brilliant.......and the wit.. like the Wabbit'ses choice, and the kid, with the python, that doesnt give a thit! I'll never be as good as Pam......

Pam's forthcoming appearances NOVEMBER Wed 10 WORCESTER Swan Theatre 01905 611427 Thurs 25 EASTLEIGH The Point 02380 652333 DECEMBER Thurs 2 CANTERBURY The Marlowe THEATRE 01227 787787 FEBRUARY (2005) Thurs 10 WELLINGBOROUGH The Castle Theatre 01933 270007 Sun 20 CHELMSFORD Civic Theatre 01245 606505 Thurs 24 COLCHESTER Mercury Theatre 01206 573948 Still going strong even if not on the TV

She is on Countdown sometimes as the celeb in dictionary corner.

You know this world is complicated, imperfect and oppressed And it's not hard to feel timid, apprehensive and depressed. It seems that all around us tides of questions ebb and flow And people want solutions but they don’t know where to go. Opinions abound but who is wrong and who is right. People need a prophet, a diffuser of the light. Someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl. Someone with the remedy, the wisdom, and the pearl. Well . . . they should have asked my ‘usband, he’d have told’em then and there. His thoughts on immigration, teenage mothers, Tony Blair, The future of the monarchy, house prices in the south The wait for hip replacements, BSE and foot and mouth. Yes . . . they should have asked my husband he can sort out any mess He can rejuvenate the railways he can cure the NHS So any little niggle, anything you want to know Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go. Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs The damage to the ozone layer, refugees and drugs. These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke But present it to my husband and he’ll solve it at a stroke. He’ll clarify the situation; he will make it crystal clear You’ll feel the glazing of your eyeballs, and the bending of your ear. Corruption at the top, he’s an authority on that And the Mafia, Gadafia and Yasser Arafat. Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine In a great compelling voice that’s twice as loud as yours or mine. I often wonder what it must be like to be so strong, Infallible, articulate, self-confident …… and wrong. When it comes to tolerance – he hasn’t got a lot Joyriders should be guillotined and muggers should be shot. The sound of his own voice becomes like music to his ears And he hasn’t got an inkling that he’s boring us to tears. My friends don’t call so often, they have busy lives I know But its not everyday you want to hear a windbag suck and blow. Encyclopaedias, on them we never have to call Why clutter up the bookshelf when my husband knows it all!

My wife likes this one - I have no idea why LOL