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HELP i dont talk to my mother and she is addopted and i would really like to trace more of my family.... DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS OF HOW I CAN DO THIS PLEASE??!! would be VERY greatful if anyone has any ideas Collette Francis 16

collette make it up with your mother who evers fault it is sorry is a small word and you are still so young just try best wishes howard

well we kinda have but we dont and never have had a proper mother duaghter relationship And i know we will fall out after X-mas when i tell her im back in contact with my dad again after 6 years (mam hates him)

im sorry to hear that Pauline

Collette I dont understand quite what you are trying to do here. You say your mother is adopted, so is it her birth family you are trying to trace? Is she your birth mother? You will need to let us know a bit more information on exactly what you are wanting to acheive. I am adopted to but I agree with Howard as well, you should try and make it up with her. You dont say why you two arent speaking. Do you still stay in the same house as her? Hopefully we can all make your Xmas a better one than what you are going to encounter at the moment. Remember you will always need your mum (be it adopted or not) at lots of stages in your life. She will always be there for you no matter what you have said or done. Dont ever forget that! You might not think that just now but TRUST me you will. Be an adult now that you are 16 and act on it. Speak to her like you are an adult and sort out your problems and differences with her. She will admire you, honestly. Let us know what you think. Mo

collette I am in my seventies now and speak from experience life is to short for regrettes try howard

no i not live with her i moved out in june we used to get violent with each other but she would always make the first move, dont think me wrong i do hate the fact i hit her too, but at that time i was trying my hardest to come of cannabis (which i regret starting) but not only that there has been alot of thimgs go wrong in life some of which i couldnt handle (started self harming) one of which i made the STUPID mistake of getting drunk ect. ect. and getting pregnant, i had a miscarrage, (and have been ill ever since) so i started smoking again. (stoped now though thank god ) anyway thing got worse from there, she kept saying how it was my fault coz i was a slut ect. ect. (which im not) Now do you see why its so hard for us to talk every time we do it ends up in an arguement!!??

sorry forgot to mention, yes she is my birth mother but she was addopted

collette so sorry at what i just read but you are still so young please try and make it work howard

i will try but like i said after X-mas we wont talk for months maybe even years (most likerly years though)

actually i when round for a cuppa about 2 weeks ago it felt really wierd being there again my dad is the one that helped me do most of this but i still have loads of leaves missing of my tree thats why i want to ask my mam about her family, but i think it would turn into a fight as i think it would be a touchy subject for her a i cant be doing with another fight, just yet im preparing myself for X-mas as it is. thats the only reason i started this posting is to see if anyone knew how i could find out without asking my mam

Collette You know what I used to do when I was in situations like that. I wrote it all down about what I hated, loved and wanted to change in my life. Try writing it all down first. Then get a fresh pice of paper and start it with Dear Mum, Let her know it is easier for you to write it down in a letter that way you both wont fight or call each other names and she will be in a position to read it over and over again and hopefully be able to answer some of your questions. Mo

collette if you can get a copy of your mothers birth certificate you may be able to find what you want from that it is worth a try if it aviods an arguement goodnight now i off to bed howard

guess i would need about small forest load of paper then if i was just going to write down all the things i hate and want to change in just my life alone

Well collette why not type it on the computer and save it to a cd or the hard drive on the comp? At least it would be a start for you. As Howard said do you know your mothers date of birth etc. Also do you know her birth name and where she was born? Mo

well i will try but im not promising anything though and im off to have a night cap with my Dad and then im going to bed night all will be on tomorrow

Night night collette. take care and sleep well. Mo