General Chat

A man trips and falls in the street. A lady walks past and enquires if he's hurt his back. No he says "I'm just trying to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket"

Hee Hee :))

Man in restaurant. Excuse me waiter do you have frogs legs. Yes sir. Well jump over the counter and get me a chees sandwich.

When will my baby move? With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Middle of winter. Farmer goes out and finds his whole herd of cattle frozen solid. Oh no I'm bankrupt. Little old lady walks past and asks why he's crying. My whole herd is frozen. I'm ruined. She walks round and touches all the cattle and they spring back to life. She bids him good day and walks off. His friend suddenly appears and says, I thought you said on the phone all the cattle were frozen. I did he said but that little old lady walking down the lane brought them back to life. Don't you recognise her said his friend, no who is she. Thora Hird.

Autumn that was Chick Murray's favourite joke! Anne

My first job was working in an orange factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

I know Anne, but aren't the old ones the best. Stand the test of time!

Two hedgehogs want to cross the road. Look at all these cars says one. We'll get run over. No, says the other you get half way across and if a car comes you sit between the two lines in the middle. The first hedgehog starts to cross the road and sees two headlights. He does what his friend says and sits between the two lines in the middle. Splat! The hedgehog still on the pavement says "You don't see many Robin Reliants round here!

A white horse trots into a pub and sits at the bar. Yes sir says the barman and what would you like to drink. A pint of lager says the horse. We've got a whisky named after you sir. "What, George" says the horse.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it!

Nice one John.

Like the little skunk said when the wind changed, "Now it all comes back to me."

Oh you wit...

Let your smile be your umbrella and you'll get a mouthful of rain.

It is better to give than to receive, and besides, you don't have to send thank-you-notes.

I have found some more little chuckles. If you think that it's a small world, you've never run of gas on a country road. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose - until you lose.

Any more chuckles out there - clean ones that is?

Why have women got small feet to stand closer to the sink Thats sexist that is lol helen xx