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The New Teachings of Zen
| Profile | Posted by | Options | Post Date |
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Sue | Report | 27 Nov 2004 18:48 |
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See below......................... Sue |
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Sue | Report | 27 Nov 2004 18:49 |
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1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just **** off and leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre. 3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 6. No one is listening until you fart. 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 13. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen. 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from comes from bad judgment. 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. |
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maggiewinchester | Report | 27 Nov 2004 19:05 |
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Lol Sue, Soooo True!! Maggie |
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Researching: |
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Unknown | Report | 27 Nov 2004 20:30 |
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Nice one Sue, Have cut and pated that to my Joke Folder. |
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Nicola | Report | 27 Nov 2004 20:59 |
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That was fantastic - nearly fell off my seat laughing!!!! lol xx |
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Louise | Report | 27 Nov 2004 21:01 |
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Fab! Best post of the night so far for me. Louise |
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