General Chat

I was at Bristol university.Friends at BRI were dissecting a corpse with the windows open onto a court yard below.The dustmen were collecting in the yard.There was cheerful banter going on between the students and the dustmen.'Give us a HAND. One dustman shouted They did. Rose

Some years ago now I was out to supper with a group of friends,and one of them was a surgeon.He was telling a story about a mutual friend whose wife had died before a due date on her insurance policy,meaning that a great deal of money would be lost.He decided to put his wife in the freezer in the cellar and when the time was right thaw her out and have a Dr friend come round to sign a death cert. He did exactly that The Dr. friend was not so obliging though and arranged a post mortem.One of the questions riased by the coroner was why did the wife have fresh strawberries in her stomach.To which the husbands Dr friend replied in all innocense'They did have a deep freeze in the cellar' At the time ,40 yrs ago, when this true story was told,ordinary folk did not have deep freezes,neither did we have access to out of season fruit via the great supermarket chains as we do today.So the story had much more impact-Rose

Hi Patty Everything I say is true. That's what makes it so hilarious for me and I think a lot of other people. No matter how awful our job, there is something fuinny that happens. I must be related to Billy Connelly, being Scots. Worked in an undertakers in one of my past careers. Thats another load of stories. Don't start me off. Well.... Aileen

Oh Peter, if you are still there. That's brilliant. Grandad lived with us for 20 yrs (hubbys dad). Two things spring to mind. Gone to stay with other son for weekend. |Out on the town. Had a curry. Walking back to the car he is short of breath. Son finds a shopping trolley and puts him in it and rushes to car. He's having a heart attack? No his belt had rode up during the evening and was constricting his chest. Hysterics yet again. Scenario: Hubby has zquillion Xmas lights all over the floor. Finding which ones worked. In walks grandad. Walks back, walks forward, stood on every bloody one. Hubby went ballistic. Me, went into hysterics laughting. I need a bloody shrink or a shrek don't mind which. Life is so funny sometimes. Aileen

Tommy Cooper. the cmedian fell asleep while on guard duty. Commanding Officer in front of him. Suddenly woke up. Just saying a prayer sir. Carry on ... laughing! Bloody hyserics more likel!

Back in 70s I was in the army. Out on exsersize one morning I was asked to see if there was any sleeping in a hay loft as we were about to pull out. Up I whent and had a look. No one there, so I started to climb down the stack of bales I had gone up, Half way down I deside to jump on to loft floor. I did and found to my shock NO FLOOR. I had managed to jump in to a straw coverd trap door. As I desended I though OH SH**T And I was right I landed in 4 feet of it A pile of Pigs to be accurate Scraped up redy to be put on the compost pile. I stank and had to stay that way all day. The rest of the lads in my platoon were to to happy about it I wounder why.

We were at the Church Swimming Gala in Solihull. I was in the 100metres Freestyle. As I dived in at the start I felt the water pressure pop my artificial eye out of the socket. I swam my 2 lengths (came somewhere very close to last) and started swimming down to search the bottom for my glass eye. Didn't find it on the first dive so had to tell an Umpire what had happened so the Gala was held up while umpteen people happily dived in to search the bottom for it while I endured the gaze of all the spectators from miles around. The water round me should have been boiling I was so embarassed.

We were on holidays in the usa with family, had a meal as we were leaving sister inlaw (a large lady with a good sense of fun) went to the toilet came out with her top pulled up round her neck, she is a size 55dddd? she walked past all the diners smiling and saying hello, we were out in the car park crying with laughter, and yes I once came out of a toilet with my skirt tucked in my nickers much to my hubby shame. ANNABEL

Marion, Brilliant. I have had several careers in my life. Wait until I get on the one working for the undertakers! Sorry have to be serious now playing Name that Film, my honour is at stake here. Oh he was very nice really Have a good evening Aileen

Oh Aileen All those were sooooooooo funny, well done I have had a good laugh I agree with you comments as well. Cheers, may see you later if you don't get stuck on the wrong thread (like last night) which also was very Funnnnny LOL. Pat x

For the sake of sanity and peace keep this and other fun threads going. Feel there is a rumble again as someone has nudged. It's a wonderful, wonderful life. Join us on Name that Tune and Name that Film, have a drink, put your feet up. Hoi whose feet smell! Aileen

Sooo glad it was,nt me ,how awfull for the lady But what a laugh Val

Mandy, My mum looks a bit like Patricia Ruttlidge (Hetti Wainthrop or Mrs Bucket (Buquet). Lovely lady, but same sort of build. Years ago before she retired they used to have to put their mail in these deep sacks. Mum leaned over too far and fell in head first. Took them an age to get her out. The more they tried the more they laughed. My mum still at 84 laughs about it. Aileen

Brilliant Aileen, had such a laugh! Best one I can think of at the moment is when my husband's boss wrote him an email complaining about a terrible member of staff and how on earth where they going to get rid of her. Then instead of sending it to husband, he sent it to the woman herself, omg how embarassing. Mandy :)

lol thats funny , you can picture the scene too

Hi Baz and wife, Glad it gave someone a chuckle. I've seen and heard so many funny things that happen to people I could write a book if I put my mind to it. Maybe will one day. Do u want my autograph now? My son in law last week was working in a new building. His boss kept walking in and out of where the patio doors were. Went off to lunch and went to walk thru them as usual. Someone had fitted the double glazing and he knocked himself out. Aileen

Brilliant Aileen, I would have been in stitches! Christine

HA HA HA HA HA HA X1000

lolxxxxxxxxxxx(:

You think that's embarassing Lapland. I worked in publishing and a production editor was obsessive about a clean toilet seat. She came a cropper when on pulling up her trousers (never wore skirts) caught the toilet roll in the waist band. She then proceeded to walk down the whole length of the office with about 100 ad/editorial staff looking like the Andrex puppy with yards of it following her. Aileen