General Chat

Hello Everyone Just a quick question really. Does anyone believe in 1st Loves and does anyone have a 1st Love? I`m asking cos I thought my life was complete, I`m engaged and have a 3 and a half month old son. Last night I went to my 1st Loves Mums 40th Birthday party(they are friends of family) Not knowing he would be there cos he moved to Spain after we broke up. We were together for 2 and a half years from 14-16. Anyway he was there last night and haven`t seen him for 4 years and he just told me how much he still loves me etc! I know I`m settled etc but when I saw him I got butterfiles and all gooey where I couldn`t talk. Haven`t felt like that in ages, being around him is so relaxing and comfortable. He`s completly messed my head up. Has anyone else been in this situation? and what did you do???

Try and remember when you split up in the first place and why?? Then think would it be worth it to jeopardise what you have now!!! Hope you manage to come to a decision that is right for you...Bev

Kerry, I bumped into someone who I used to fancy like mad when I was at school a couple of years ago. He told me how good I looked and it didn't take me more than 2 minutes to fancy him again. I thought about him a lot over the next few days then less and less and now I don't think about him at all. These things are sent to test us! Jack x

I fell head over heels for a bloke that used to work occasionally at the office I used to work in. He worked for the London branch. We went out together every time he visited, romantic dinners the lot. He made me feel like no man had ever done before, I was besotted by him. Then I came to feel that we didn’t in reality have a future together and things drifted. I went out with other men and met the man that was to be my future husband. ‘John’ and I still chatted together – no animosity – but each time I saw him that same old flip of the stomach happened. The day I got engaged to my husband was a turning point for me. ‘John’ gave me one of his ‘deep and meaningful’ looks and asked me to see him again as he wanted to talk seriously to me. To this day I don’t know what he might have said and I have never shared this with anyone before but I turned him down. He even asked a colleague to talk to me about it later and try to get me to change my mind! But I knew where my loyalties lay and I have never regretted my decision. The last time I saw him was when he came to the office to specifically say goodbye when I was leaving work to have my first child. He still had that way of looking at me as if he thought he could convince me that I was making a mistake – at seven and a half months pregnant that would have been quite some feat! - and yes I have to admit that he could still give me ‘butterflies’. I have been married for over 30 years now and although I have seen ‘John’ on television every now and again and in newspaper articles and wonder occasionally how different my life might have been ‘if only’ I can honestly say that I made the right choice. Don’t be clouded by what might be – look at what you have already. Mags xx

My first love lives in the same town as me. He still, after nearly 40 years, has the power to make my heart leap just by looking at me. We broke up because he didn't want children, and I did. Although I have been happily married for 37 years, if I bump into him in town I turn into a gibbering wreck! My life is very happy and I'm sure I would not have been as happy with him, but the grass is always greener, as they say! You never ever forget your first love, they always have a special place in your heart, but you have to weigh up what you have against what might have been. I'm a great believer in 'what will be, will be' and think that if we were meant to be together, we will be one day. Good luck with whatever you decide is right for you all. Sue xx

awwwwww i remember my first love at 16 30 something years ago lol

I see my first love everyday. I first met her at the new Penny disco in Queens Road Watford and it was love at first sight. I proposed after two weeks, she accepted and we announced our forthcoming marriage after five weeks. We married six months later and are still together after 34 years. However that's not the whole story, and I can assure people it is possible to be in love with two people at once. Some 20 years ago a girl I worked with and I fell in love and it was the most complicated and difficult situation I have ever been in. We both had partners which we were both still in love with and didn't want to hurt. So we separated, I left my job, she moved away fortunately, because of her partner's promotion, from the area. I know she is settled and happy, she understands the same thing regarding me. Who knows what would have happened if we were not happy with each of our current partners. I'd suggest you think long and hard about what you stand to lose as well as gain!

Kerry, to your first question ...yes. To your second question ... also yes. And to your third question .. well I'm afraid I can't say at the moment. But previous answers have given good advice and all I would say is - think long and hard, don't make an impulsive decision - think about your child - and then follow your heart. I truly hope you make the decision that is right for you. Mandy x