General Chat

Howard. There are people out there that are not interested in Family connections. Some are only looking for numbers to add so they can brag about how many Ancestors and connections they have in there tree. You open it up to them, they copy all your hard work, and all this adds to the Surname list. This lessens your chance to make a possible genuine connection. I am not saying that this person who contacted you is not genuine, but i would be asking a lot more questions before i open my hard work up to someone who just says "can i look at your tree" Unfortunatley, i have been a sucker to this when i first became a member. But once bitten, twice shy. This person who did this to me, is not even closely related, and has about 5,000 people in there tree. They in turn opened there tree to other people not interested. Now my contact chances are less. Tony Oz

No, Natalie, you are not out of order. I only give permission (sorry, used to - no point now with only 2 of us on it!) when someone provides a good enough reason to link us together. Am afraid that a nasty experience with someone on this site wanting to research my family even though we are definitely not related whatsoever made me delete the names on my tree on GR and just put my name and my husband's. So, no, Natalie, you are not out of order! Joy

I normaly politely ask if i can view their tree, and then set my tree so they can view mine.

I got asked for someone to have a look at my tree, because there might be a connection. He gave me permission to his. I did have a quick look at his but couldn't find the person who he thought was the connection. So I email he back saying that and I haven't heard anything since. Hence I haven't given him permission to my tree. Am I out of order ? Nat

Howard, It is diffiult when you receive a request like this as although we all want to be helpful and to find 'that link'. we also want to know what the link is! I have had a request to view my tree and I asked what the the person thought the possible connection could be, I received another request 'Can I view your tree' with no explanation or even a please. If unsure, don't do it. Jacky

who was it howi

Just ask for more information again - it's not a rude question, so they shouldn't take exception to it. Glenys x

I have had only one who asked to see my family tree without a reason, so I email back and asked where they thought the link might be, they came back with the info, so I allowed it, but I would not entertain the idea if I didn't get a satifactry answer. Bev

Unless they can say how they think there may be a connection, then just ignore the request. You have already politely made contact. Joy

thank you all for your replies i thought i was being a bit mean it makes me feel a lot easier now after reading what you have said thanks howard

I agree Howard. Anyway, if they can't string a proper request together, do you really want to find out if you're related! lol Jeanette x

I always write and explain, that until there is a proven link, I don't share my tree with anyone. I think that is fair enough. I don't like these automated requests that can be sent! Suex

Rubbish!!! How rude can you get - I would just ignore them if they can't put a proper request together. Anne

i have had a request from someone to view my tree i have asked them why and for more info and they replied can i view your family tree what do others think on this request howard