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Fifty Shades of Grey by Pam Ayres.

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 14 Mar 2022 21:31

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!

:-D :-D :-D :-D

LaGooner

LaGooner Report 14 Mar 2022 21:36

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

KathleenBell

KathleenBell Report 14 Mar 2022 22:21

:-D :-D :-D :-0 :-0 :-0

Kath. x

Florence61

Florence61 Report 14 Mar 2022 23:14

Thanks Mr Magoo, that really made me laugh :-D :-D :-D

Florence in the hebrides

Caroline

Caroline Report 15 Mar 2022 03:21

:-D :-D :-D

LondonBelle

LondonBelle Report 15 Mar 2022 09:38

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Now you could have been Reported for that in the old days but with a bit of luck she has now left the building never to return ;-) :-D :-D

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 15 Mar 2022 13:04

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Island

Island Report 15 Mar 2022 13:13

Pam Ayres on Twitter

"I did not write this poem, it is by John Summers"

It's clever and amusing but when are people going to stop crediting the wrong person?