General Chat

Yes we did know where some were as mum took my sister and myself 2 or 3 times a year to clean up the graves and place flowers in the vases. This was until 1962, my maternal grandfather died 1960 my maternal grandmother 1969 and placed in the same grave as my grandfather. All others buried before them.

My paternal grandparents had their grave in a different area as they had their grave a long time and was for 3 burials, their daughter died in her early 20s in 1936. This area also held my great grandparents - my mother's grandparents. They died 1928 /1933 and 1933/1937. There would be lots of my mother's family in there in the earliest section. My father's family came from a nearby town so will be buried there.

My sister went to check some graves for me and got a map from the council - she was shocked by what she found. She couldn't get her bearings without some of the old monuments and when she found the rows she couldn't identify the individual graves. :-(

Oh Pat how sad for you. Did you know before they were removed where the graves were?
Well a friend of mine turned a corner of her garden into a memorial to her mum. She planted a huge rose bush and smaller plants around it. She then made a wooden plaque in memory of her mother and put that under the rose. The reason was because she had moved a long way away from where she was buried and could not visit the grave. So this memorial she created gave her comfort and her place to remember her.

Florence in the hebrides

I can't look at gravestones of my grandparents and further back to the 1890s. The large municipal graveyard has had the headstones removed and all you see is a great expanse of lawns. There are row markers but most of the graves have flattened so you can't make out individual graves.

I know this is a sensitive subject but I have been thinking about what arrangements I would like in the event of my passing.

Is it a great comfort that if a loved one is buried in the local cemetery along with a headstone? Would you like to be able to visit the grave and have quiet time with your loved ones, put fresh flowers on the grave?
I'm sure many of us look upon the grave as a reminder of our loved ones and a place of comfort when one feels sad or alone. A place you can go to anytime.

Or would you find comfort in having your loved ones ashes in a box or sealed jar on a shelf in your house? Maybe having the ashes close to you gives you comfort that your loved one is never far away? Then if you move house and away from the area, you will always have the ashes with you to give you comfort.

You can of course at anytime have the ashes buried. My father wants to be cremated so that his ashes and my grandmothers ashes(currently on shelf in study from 2002) can be buried eventually together as he has already purchased his plot in a cemetery.

For me there is no local crematorium here, so if I passed suddenly, I would be buried in my local graveyard 2 miles up the road but I would be "all alone" as no other member of my family would be buried there.

What do others think?

Hope I don't offend anyone who has recently lost a loved one, that is not my intention.

Florence in the hebrides