General Chat

Children disowning their parents and denying that they grew up on a council estate, including 2 of my siblings and our son, what gets into these people, I'm all for people doing well for themselves but not to the point denying of how they got there. :-(

Tell me about it ZZzzz, we have them in our family too. :-|

I really don't understand them, one even spent a lot of time and money trying to be what she is not and never will be.

If you are happy who cares where you live. I was bought up on a North London Council estate before moving up country. I never put on airs and graces what you see is what you get with me. :-D

Weird, isn't it?
My mother didn't get on with her siblings.

She married dad at 17 - and they moved to Malta.
I think mum created 'airs & graces' then.
Not sure how she retained her aloofness when we lived in a caravan!
:-D :-D

Hm. We aspired to a council house.

I didn't move up to living in one, this one, until I was ten.

Myself and my siblings all had the same upbringing so I don't understand how two of them think thy are better than the other two of us and our son wouldn't have got where he is if we were on a private estate from the start, because we simply would not have been able to afford to do what we did for him. Biting the hand that feeds you spring to mind.

It does indeed as went without myself to give the eldest 2 kids what they needed and gave a lot of time running them to clubs etc.Now they shun me completely.

I know my two sisters don't have children, that was their choice and our son only has step children (I think) so I wonder who they will turn to when they need help Physically and financially, they won't get any from us that's for sure.

I passed the 11+ and went to grammar school so the rest of the family behave as if I l. look down on them, always having to make excuses fo what they haven't done or achieved.

Grammar school was not my choice, in fact I didn't even want to go there. I am sue those chosen to inhabit Alcatraz didn't look down on those who only went to San Quentin!

I was a welder and still live in a council house. You bet I look down on them!

LaGooner and Zzzzz,
That really is very sad for you both and I'm so sorry to read that.
We all do what we can for our children and , even though we don't want them to bow before us, the least they can do is show respect and gratitude. When they don't it can be so painful and I sincerely hope you can both accept the circumstances thrust upon you without too much upset.
My very best wishes to you both.

Thank you Kay, but for me and hubby it will be too little too late if they ever try to get with us again, we are hurt in more ways than one by how they have treated us.

I quite understand that Zzzzz. It's sometimes necessary to distance yourself to protect yourself in the long run. I have 4 sisters I have nothing to do with. I'm the only one who has never owned their own house-and that. apparantly, is a disgrace. I spent years being looked down on and didn't respond to their verbal attacks and little digs until one day I just told myself they were fickle and I'd had enough. Not spoken to any of them for 21 years now. I don't feel as though I'm missing anything beneficial.

I find it very sad, and amazing that people - let alone relations - can judge a person by their belongings, rather than their true 'worth' - personality, etc.

Of us 4 siblings, I'm the one who doesn't own a house, the poor relation, who's also unemployed.
When I moved, they rallied around. If it hadn't been in the middle of a pandemic, my brother would have hired a van, and he and my nephews, as well as my daughters, would have been loading the van. As it was, he paid for my cooker to be connected, and my son in law paid for the removal van and men.
Daughter wanted to hire a skip for me - but I didn't think I'd have enough to fill it.

Sister and I are going to visit my other brother soon - and sister's paying.
In June, we're having a family gathering (no more than 30! :-D), and I've had 3 offers to take me.

Despite my mother being a bit of a narcissist, and me being the 'shame' on the family, according to her, my dad always said, his ambiton for his children was for them to speak to a beggar the same way they'd speak to a king.
Looks like dad won! :-D :-D

Kay, I don't think you're missing anything - if they're that shallow, it would be difficult having any conversation that didn't revolve around them and their posessions!
They daren't talk about anything 'deep' in case it offends their other, shallow, friends, or exposes a smidging of empathy.

Maggiewinchester.
Aw, that's lovely how your family all helped when you moved-and it's exactly how it should be. Your family sound great.

Thanks for your words of advice. You must know my eldest sister!! You described her to a T!! All the photos she used to send to our Mum were of her latest posessions-the new carpet ,right through all the bedrooms, of course, the new 3 piece, the new car, even how the garden was beautifully done. Never did impress me and still wouldn't now. I'd still prefer my house where I don't panic if there's dog or cat hairs on the furniture and I say if people don't like it they needn't bother visiting except, to be honest ,I put it more bluntly than that!! :-D ;-)

One example of one of my siblings was when I told her our son was spotted for modeling, her response was wow talk about reflected glory, no well done or good luck.
she is totally materialistic and later when she was showing off about the new 3 piece suite and what it cost on credit, I told her how much ours was and that it is paid for in cash, also everything we own is ours even the car and no credit. That shut her for a long time.

Good point, ZZzzz - materialistic gain = empty bank account!

My table and chairs - bought about 25 years ago, show 'history'.
A chair has a chewed bar at the bottom, from when daughter's dog had puppies, 20 years ago.
The table has a bright pink squiggle, from where I accidently left an indelible marker in the felt tips the grandchildren were using.(it was Jago!)
There's a small hole in the side of the table, where I put a hook to hang a toy for the kittens.
I can still sit on the chairs and eat off the table! :-D

My double bed is a 1930's number. It has a walnut headboard and footboard with a spring metal base that bolts on (and a sprung 'IKEA' mattress).
This was given to me - or rather, it was being thrown out and I asked for it, over 40 years ago. It's really comfortable.
Once, on holiday, I had to sleep on a slatted bed, and pulled every muscle in my back (or that's what it felt like) - doctor confirmed it.

I can guarantee, that bed is worth a lot more now, than I didn't have to pay for it all those years ago! :-D :-D :-D