General Chat

Thank you Mr Magoo and RoloTheRed I have tried most of what you suggest and I think I will leave it for now as I can’t be sure he is in the same area so maybe doesn’t want me to find him. :-)

It is not compulsory to register.

UK residents not of an EU or Commonwealth nationality cannot register.
Lords and lunatics cannor register.

For those who have registered there are two possibilities:
(a) their entry is public - and so shows up in www.192.com
(b) their entry is restricted - and so does not appear in www.192.com.

Those who have opted for (b) are often unaware that their entry nevertheless remains visible to UK govt public bodies, credit agencies, banks and businesses who pay extra for extended access.

192.com tends to lag real time by a year or more.

Apart from 192.com there are lots and lots of ways of varying legality to suss out somebody's address whether they are on the ER or not. There are also service companies which will find somebody and (for a fee) deliver documents and goods. Without them bailiffs, journalists and lawyers would have a hard time of it. Typical charge is £ 30-50.

If you have your son's NI number an agency could find him in no time at all.

If you know the town where yr son is living then you can visit the library or covic oiffices and search the ER for yourself. If you are not aware of the locaity it can be a long job as the ER is organised by street, not by name. This for the convenience of political parties.

He may not be on the electoral register.

Try his wife/partner.

Could try putting his name in Google....you never know.

What am I doing wrong with 192 please? I’ve signed in paid up and still can’t find him, so what do I need to do to now please anyone, will I need to go there do you think?

Do what you feel is right for and your hubby,never mind any one else.

It’s more complicated than that, his girlfriend/wife is lovely it’s his ego that is too big for him to accept the way his father and I live our life, I thank you all for your help in this matter xx.

As you say "they" moved, I would assume that he's married. It can be difficult for a son if the cause of the rift is the parents not liking the wife or vice versa, obviously we don't know if that's the case here.

But I do think for your own sake if not his, that you try and keep it as pleasant as possible. ASK him what he would like you to do with his things, say you'd love it if he came to pick them up in person if that's what he wants. Even if you have to do it through gritted teeth!

It’s has been at least 5 years that we have been storing his belongings so I think it’s time for him to take them back and we haven’t heard from him in that time, no replies to e mails, snail mails or phone calls.

ZZzzz, why not pack his stuff up and keep it for him? As he wants you to hold on to his belongings, there appears to be a glimmer of hope that he does not want to cut all ties.

Also, I didn't realise you had an email address for him so not all ties cut if he hasn't changed his email address, even if he does not reply.

Would you not write to let him know you've packed up his belongings ready for pick-up by him or storage at yours? And store them, as he has requested, if you don't hear from him.

I have no idea of events that have occurred but I, personally, would not want to take any action that would kill off hope.

Only you can decide, though.

Don’t worry world war 3 won’t break out lol, I’m going to send him an e mail saying I’ve packed it for him to pick up or we can deliver it to his old address for him to pick up from there. Either way he can’t have it both ways, have nothing to do with us yet want us to look after his belongings. By the way if I pay for 192 will it show his current address?

I agree with Gwyn. Store your son's belongings.

It's a parent/child thing.

If and when you repair the relationship between you, your son may be relieved and glad to discover that his parents acted like adults.

Difficult situation and obviously I don't know all the details, but I urge you to think carefully before making a sad situation even worse.

Heartbroken now because the mutual friend said he doesn’t want us to have his new address and still doesn’t want anything to do with us, long story and it’s our son but he wants us to keep storing his belongings, oh boy is he in for a shock.

Thank you for your help I have their old address but that house was sold 2 years ago and for now I think I will try a mutual friend, could be that they don’t want to be found, oh well ho hum.

If you know the area, try https://www.thephonebook.bt.com/

You could ask a mutual friend for the address ?

Have they ever been on the electoral rolls

They may still be at the same address but opted out of the public one

We did !!

That isn’t on 192 nor the electoral role, it isn’t urgent but it is important.