General Chat

Thank you all. I know the wedding is a day and marriage is what comes after. My parents will have been married for 40 years in August and Mr Owl’s have been married for 30 years (his birth dad died of cancer when he was 6 months old) so we have good role models to look up to.

Tawny, to be honest.

Dress. Bridesmaids. Reception. All significant in their own way....BUT ….the most important part of the day is when you and Mr Owl make your vows and that they are made in love and honesty and truth.

As you know from guiding - it's not what you wear when you make your promises, it's whether or not you make your promises in a meaningful way.

A beautiful wedding dress, 101 bridesmaids and a blur of a reception do not, necessarily, make for a good marriage. You could wear a track suit, have no bridesmaids and a reception at the local pub and still have a fabulous day and, more importantly, a happy marriage :-D

My stress not about the wedding, but about what else was going on .....

I basically planned much of the day myself,

OH left England for a job abroad about 5 weeks after we got engaged. Most of our communication was by letter, which meant it took 7-10 days to get the reply back, and an occasional phone call (because we couldn't afford the cost too often).

That included the guest list ........... and we were limited by the number of people that the church held, it was a very old, small church out in the Cheshire countryside. I had 2 bridesmaids and OH had his best man and 2 ushers.

Meanwhile I was also making all the arrangements for my emigration immediately after we got married .......... which meant submitting all kinds of paperwork and then interviews at their Embassy in London when I worked in Cheshire, and had to get leave from my teaching job to go down there. I also had to get a passport in my new name, which meant the vicar had to be involved (it had to be sent to him so he could give the passport to me after the ceremony).

I do remember obsessing about applying to emigrate under one name but having another name by the time it happened, but it seemed that that was a fairly common occurrence and no problem!

To add to it, we were getting married in his church, not in the one I should have gone to ...... luckily his parents helped out there! I arranged to stay with my matron-of-honour in Chester the night before the wedding, leaving my dad to make arrangements for relations to come from Oldham (he hired a small coach), while he stayed with my brother.

I went down to London during the Easter vacation to stay with a friend, went into John Lewis while I was there, and found a dress that I liked. They got it in and sent it to me in Cheshire ............. after that, my room-mate kept a check on what I was eating for the whole of the summer term so I wouldn't put on any weight. She didn't allow me to have any chip butties, for example ;-)

We arranged that OH would return to England 10 days before the wedding, and we would leave 7 days after, so he could help out at the last minute. Before the wedding, that meant constant round trips between my home in Oldham and his in Chester, moving everything that I wanted to take with me to his parents place, where the packers would go. The car was piled high on each trip.

I had less than a week between the end of the school year and his coming back to sort out what I wanted/needed to take and what could be donated/recycled/thrown out, etc ........... 50+ years later, there are still some things that I forgot and still regret. :-(

In the off-days of going back and forth, we made the last minute arrangements for the reception, bought my wedding ring and the signet ring he was willing to have as his wedding ring, he had his fittings for his rented morning suit, had our talk with the vicar (no wedding rehearsal!), and hoped.

On the morning of the wedding, OH's friend who had agreed to play the organ, discovered that the organ had been removed 2 days before for full repairs, and replaced with a harmonium ..... so he had to do a rapid change of music. The removal were planned, but the vicar had not known it was going to happen so quickly.

We got through it all, had fun on the day ........ nothing mattered, except that we were finally going to the church and to start our new life together.

Even being held up as we left the church by the local farmer taking his herd of cattle back to the farm for milking only had people laughing, not stressing or cursing.


We went away for 3 days to Scotland, and while we were away, OH's mother arranged for the packers to come. We had asked that all presents be sent to OH's parent's address or to the reception, so she had them all there, plus his stuff and mine ............... luckily they had an empty (literally!!) room that could be used.

We spent 1 more night with them, seeing most of the presents for the first time, then to the airport, met up with my dad, brother and his family there to say goodbye to them, and left the UK.


It's now something to look back on, laugh, and say how much we enjoyed the day.


Just keep thinking that it is the day that matters, and you and Mr Owl ........... and let everyone else go hang!

Things do work out, Tawny, just not necessarily how you want them to, but so long as you are happy with the new dress just enjoy the big day :-D

I finally have a dress. It’s not the dress I originally wanted but I look good in it and love the dress. One problem solved and another 200 to go.

I hope you will solve the dress problem soon, Tawny, so your stress levels go down and you can look forward to your special day with pleasure and not worry.

Lizxx

I hope everything works out well for you Tawny I too ran 3 Guiding Units at the same time and understand how time consuming it is. :-)

Best wishes Tawny for us all <3 <3

I get married 3 weeks today but I don’t have a lot of time for fittings. I work full time and have three guiding units which take a lot of time.

How much time do you have left before your wedding day???

Is there time for the dress to be posted express or couriered to the shop??

Thanks Allan. I have an appointment with the dress shop tomorrow to see if we can sort something. Fingers crossed for a solution. :-)

Don't stress, Tawny, everything will turn out fine.

Easy for me to say, I know, but even if the dress doesn't turn up in time just treat yourself to a nice one that you can wear on many occasions, not just the once.

Your guests will understand.

Absolutely stressed out now. My dress is in Hong Kong at the moment and I have nothing to wear. I didn’t order from abroad but apparently that’s where they get made. :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(

Just remember - it's the marriage that matters. The wedding is only the start.

Arranged my wedding in under 3 weeks in 1969. Shared a blissful marriage, which ended only when my lovely hubby died in 2009.

Actually going to some weddings can be stressful too :-( :-( :-( :-(

Thank you Jacqueline.

Just try to hang on to one thought - if you know you are marrying the right person for all the right reasons - nothing else matters! You both have lots of happy years before you, your wedding day although important is just one day.

Lots of luck and best wishes.

Thank you Sue. I’m calmer than I was this morning but if she tries to contact me again after that it’s bye bye.

I have one good bridesmaid who I know will be there with me all the way.

Take no notice of her she is more annoyed with being ill than she wanted to be not being able to stand by you.


Happy wedding day to you and Mr Owl and have a fabulous time with the family and friends that really care for you both. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

One bridesmaid had to pull out yesterday due to her health. That I totally understand but what I don’t understand is the colourful language she used to tell me and Mr Owl where to go because I didn’t answer my phone to her. She phoned after 10pm so strangely I was in bed with my phone on silent :-( :-(