General Chat

My son, and his fiancee have been doing well lately - he got a promotion at work (local city council) where he is taking all kinds of courses and earning more, and recently his fiancee was offered a job at the local county council. She passed her driving test and they bought a car, and my son is due to take his test soon. They have applied to buy the flat they moved to a year ago.

My future daughter in law's son is now 10 and doing ok at school but sadly, he has started to struggle mentally with having diabetes. Yesterday he got angry and broke an important part of his self administering pump. The replacement costs £250.

It's so upsetting to know the lad is struggling with a condition he cannot be cured from, he wants to be like his friends, carefree and with no restrictions on his diet. I suppose his recent school trip to Wales brought home the differences altho between himself and the teacher in charge, he managed his diabetes well.

He already has an appointment set up with a psychologist so I hope things can be done to help him accept his situation and continue learning to have as good a life as possible.

O.h.'s granddaughter in Essex, who will be 8 next month, is also struggling. From being an exuberant, confident girl, she has become anxious and refuses to go to school. Apparently she has dyslexia and possibly dyspraxia too, they are waiting for a diagnosis but she will need help at school. Her brother who is now 5 is doing really well at school which she is not coping with, and she got upset when his friends voted for him as a school council member but he needs his chance to shine too.

The parents have been separated since last December but it is looking possible that they might make a go of things yet, they all holidayed together in summer and are spending lots if time together as a family. Fingers crossed!

Lizx

Liz
It's sad when kids struggle and they get a diagnosis of why

Hopefully the grandaughter will get a quick diagnoses and then the help she needs

You may remember I have a step grandson who is now 18 . He is sil son from a previous relationship and daughter and SIL got custody of him when he was 5. His mother was completely unable to look after him properly and he was under the social services and was probably going to be removed from the mother when daughter and sil took the decision to ask for custody . SIL hadn't been married to the mum but had a short relationship with her .(different story!)

He has genetic chromosome 10 syndrome and is on the autistic spectrum too .
He has quite complex problems including still soiling himself and now the hormones have kicked in he doesn't understand what his body is telling him and his brain can't get into sync with boundaries

But he went to the local school in the separate annex for kids with learning difficulties of many different sorts and has done well
He reads very well..simple maths he does well, is an a absolutel whizz on the computer.self taught but his writing is very poor as he has little coordination.
He left school in July with many certificates from the school which he is very proud of and now goes to college .again in a separate annex for the learnng part ,they meet up with the others for breaks etc so are not isolated.
He is still doing things like maths and they get them a work placement for one day a week. He will be taught life skills with the view of getting them into assisted living later

He loves cooking .they did this at school ,and he wants to do this too at college

Can't see him ever being able to live independently or getting a job but he is encouraged all the way to achieve whatever his potential is

They are who they are and we love them no matter what ,so know your grandkids can go on with the right encouragement by schools etc to do well too

<3 xxx

Thanks Shirley, I think your grandson was lucky his dad and stepmum took him in so he had real family behind him. I know how much influence and help he had from you and your hubby too, and you are still there for him.

'Step' grandson spends a lot of time with his dad, stepmum and half siblings and gets on well with my son, who has been in his life for over 7 years, so has lots of support.

O.h's granddaughter has been allowed her own way since she was small, I wonder if a more disciplined up bringing would have helped her cope or shown up her difficulties sooner. For a quiet life, she was given free rein and I think the fact that she would insist on sleeping with her mother every night so dad was in the spare room, helped cause the breakup that happened last year. Hopefully they are coming together again now, and will be strong again, there were no other parties involved.

It's hard work bringing up kids!

Lizxx

Aw Liz, my heart goes out to you and the family <3
As you know my daughter was terminally ill when she was 6 but amazingly the chemo, radiotherapy and operation worked and cured her. But missing out on 14 months of school made it difficult for her and she was way behind.But the illness too created other problems. She was held back and had a support worker all through school.
She left in 5th yr and went to college.They had small groups and she managed to catch up with her maths and English to a basic level.

She has without success tried to get a job for the last 14 months.She is type 1 diabetes too.
However all that aside.In the beginning she found it difficult to work out her daily allowance of carbs and was always hungry.So I had a crash course in learning.
She adapted to it eventually and now she eats what I eat but we find lower carb alternatives.

So your future sils boy can have a burger and chips or pizza its just knowing what portion size.I wonder if the pump is the best thing. My daughter just injects before food 4 times a day.She swims and for the most leads a normal life. I wonder what it is that he hates? is it the pump or not being able to eat loads of sweets?
I stopped buying sweets when she was diagnosed so nobody in the house ate them..we didn't miss them and she was allowed few treats sometimes.
he needs to hear that he can still live the same life as all his friends and family with a few adjustments.Dont make the diabetes an issue. tell him there are children with incurable diseases but yours is a treatable condition. Also he is only 10.as he matures, he will accept and understand it better.


My thoughts are with you.Its horrid to see children upset. Everytime my daughter is told she didn't get an interview, I could cry for her and she is so willing to try anything but no one will give her a chance.i don't think she will ever live independently either as she has some learning problems in general but I will always support her whatever.


I hope it sorts itself out..im sure it will.

Florence in the hebrides <3 <3

Liz I have Dyspraxia and it wasn’t easy as it took me longer to manage to do things that other children manage easily like learning to swim, ride a bike and even tie my shoelaces. I got there in the end though and manage everything that any other person does holding down a full time job, paying bills and I’m getting married next year. My fiancé and I refer to it as my little problem and all I do now is trip over my feet and spill my drink more than most people( Though that could also be the alcohol). :-D If granddaughter does get a diagnosis of dyspraxia and you have any questions please feel free to ask.

My ex has dyslexia, as does our eldest daughter.
However, eldest was used to her father either consulting a dictionary, or asking me how to spell a word - which I could do - then I'd ask him what it meant! :-S

She never wanted school to know about her dyslexia, we'd worked out strategies, (she loved reading), but her handwriting gave her away!
However, daughter has an affinity with people, and is now a health worker, and breast feeding counsellor.
Ex took a degree in Maths, then an MA, and has spent the past 25 years teaching children with disabilities of all sorts, to become agricultural engineers.
He's still dumbfounded at how amazing their 'difference' makes them. :-D :-D
Agricultural colleges do an awful lot for the 'differently abled' and that phrase covers everything - it's worth a try!

Just like to add, ex was a tad 'competitive'.
When we were together it was 'who could go to the dentist and have nothing done' - well, he, I, and our children were equal on that one - nothing.
Then, a few years after we split up, I did a degree - he started the year after me.
He then got a job that funded him to do the Masters, I didn't. :-P
At the time,I tried to become a teacher, but they wanted graduate teachers who were 'male, or of an ethnic minority' - and I've still got the letter! :-| :-|

Well, yesterday my son finally passed his driving test, third time lucky! He is really pleased as it will be easier getting around for work , they have vans and cars to share from the office.

His fiancée found a full time job with the local County council, and is already being trained up to deal with social care issues that come in. She is on a temporary contract to start with but as my son says, they wouldn't start specialist training her so soon after starting if they weren't sure she was up to it, so hopefully they will soon confirm her a permanent full time staff. That will mean their mortgage application will go through, as the building society won't take things further till she is permanent. She has also been accepted to train as an Appropriate Adult so she will be very busy. She has to take her son into school early for breakfast club and pick him up after work but it seems to be going well and next September he will move to a school nearer their home.

E. In Chelmsford has been assessed (privately) and doesn't have dyspraxia, her problems are much more complicated apparently so she has to do lots of special exercises and activities after school to help and she will be re-assessed constantly. Mum and Dad had a weekend away recently and are getting back together so I hope that works out and together they can help E. through her learning difficulties.

Hopefully things can only get better for all the family. Fingers crossed!

Lizxx

I have only two words to say to your son's stepson and they are Steve Redgrave!

Sorry to hear about the little boys diabetes. As you know Liz my grandson was diagnosed at 4 with this. He never accepted he had this condition and my daughter went through hell with him. He always said to me he wanted to die. At one point he stopped injecting and was eating what he liked. Never wanted children in case he passed it on. Two years ago he went blind. He is a qualified electrician. He could not drive and could not work and had just bought a brand new house. Moorefields Hospital gave him back his sight. Not wonderful but he can drive and work and pay his mortgage again. He is 27 now. At the end of Feb his first baby is due. A little boy and I have never seen him happier. I also have diabetes and have nerve damage and my grandson helps me now lol. I hope the little boy will accept it and I do know what you are all going through xx

Dear Purple and Ann <3

Take gentle care
Best wishes
Elizabeth, EOS
xx

Thanks for all the input on here.

Ann, I do remember your stories of your grandson and am so glad things are better for him now, thank heavens his sight could be restored and his life is improving. I bet he will be a great daddy to his coming baby boy and you will be delighted to help out too. I am sorry you are suffering, hope it's bearable.

I think young M. will be ok with his diabetes, he just gets fed up with the constant checking etc but knows what to do for himself. He has his Mum, Dad and my son to support him through any difficult times.

Thanks Sharron and Elizabeth

Lizxx