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Stillborn - to add or not?

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Neil

Neil Report 1 Nov 2007 12:17

I've just discovered that my Grandparents had a stillborn son around 8 months gestation. I've found out where he is buried but was wondering what the consensus was about adding him to my tree. Should i add him? How would i name him?

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it

Shirley~I,m getting the hang of it Report 1 Nov 2007 12:20

well he was part of the family I would add him as a son and call him unnamed . then put in his notes he was stillborn etc

Neil

Neil Report 1 Nov 2007 12:26

Shirley - thanks for replying - that was my line of thinking.

I am now waiting for the map to arrive from the cemetary so i can visit his grave.

Christine

Christine Report 1 Nov 2007 13:14

I am looking for the 3 stillborns my nan had. Somehow that line is not complete without them,She would get so upset even at the age of 92 when they were spoken about. will put them in when I do find them.

Neil

Neil Report 2 Nov 2007 21:26

Julie - Got the map for the cemetary this morning so will be planning a trip there asap. How did you get the stillborn certificate as i cannot find an entry on freebmd for the baby. I have been told by the crematorium that the baby was buried in a unpurchased grave and so was told there would likely be no monument. I was driving home from work yesterday and it suddenly hit me that he would have been (is even) my uncle - very odd feelings came over me most of which was sadness. I know my mum is very keen to visit the grave of her brother as my grandparents very rarely spoke of him. I believe my mum only found out when i was born as my Nan mentioned to my mum that i was the 'son my grandfather never had' and explained a little of what happened. I am considered contacting the local Trust to see if i can get a copy of any medical records for him to try and find out any details (if there were any).

Jen ~

Jen ~ Report 2 Nov 2007 22:54

I knew my grandmother had had a stillborn daughter due to a house fire. She was named Margaret.

There is no record of her birth or death, as it was before this became compulsory in 1927, so I will never discover what happened to her or where she may have been burried. Probably in a communal grave.

She was still my mothers sibling and she has a place on my tree.

Jen

Heather

Heather Report 3 Nov 2007 00:31

Id love to have a brother - I found out my mothers first child was stillborn and a boy. I know nothing about him except he would have been my only brother. It makes me feel quite sad. I think its right and proper we remember all these people.

Deb needs a change

Deb needs a change Report 3 Nov 2007 04:39

I've just read through this thread with a feeling of great sadness. These babies were real people, even though they didn't draw a breath. It's so sad that they can't have their own names in most circumstances.

Neil, it's just a suggestion but why don't you give your uncle a name and add him to your tree? You could put a note on his details ie: stillborn. He's a part of you and I think it would be a lovely gesture to name him.

You could choose a name by following the English Naming Pattern or simply choose a name that appeals to you.



Deb:)

Staffs Col

Staffs Col Report 3 Nov 2007 09:59

These little people are still part of your family history and should be part of the tree

Camille

Camille Report 3 Nov 2007 10:28

I think it is a matter of personal choice but I have added several to my tree as they are still part of our family

Lulli

Teddys Girl

Teddys Girl Report 3 Nov 2007 11:53

My paternal grandmother had twins, one alive one stilborn,they called him William,and I entered him in, he was part of our family.

Sarahh

Sarahh Report 3 Nov 2007 16:58

My aunt on my mothers side is a twin, her twin sister died at birth though in the 60's and was buried with others in one single plot and is unmarked, so it still was happening then. There still is suspicion behind what happened as they were both born premature and left my surviving aunt starved of oxygen with cerebal palsy, one story is my gran was pushed down some stairs while pregnant.

But I've put the twin who died in my tree, as I know the birth as obviously is the same as my aunts and had the name confirmed not so long ago as one of the uncles has the birth and death certificate for the twin.

Carol

Carol Report 3 Nov 2007 17:44

I recently went to a funeral in Plymouth.
In the graveyard, I noticed one very well tended grave.
Marble headstone and a rectangle trough of coloured stone and Fresh flowers in vases

The headstone read

"Our precious daughter, born sleeping 1986"

I assume that this was a stillbirth

Sarahh

Sarahh Report 3 Nov 2007 18:49

I've seen about 2 that also read something like that by my mums grave. It's sad that it happens, but they should be remembered.