Genealogy Chat

Reb's - I have corrected the most recent attendees list - sorry Billy! I just realised I forgot to show you all my LIST!! (I'm sure you all love lists at this time of year?? LOL) Commode, gold, one - check Roof-boxes, gold, Supreme deluxe version, two - check Skis, gold, one pair - check Pram wheels, gold and white, set of four - check Tent, three ''man'', navy, one - check Battery, camping leisure type, one - check Kettle - check Coffee, instant, one jar - check Tea, bags, one box - check Mars Bars, large, two dozen - check Sleeping bags, orange and green stripes, two, check Tinsel, red, 1.7m (I've taken it off for a while) - check Dates, Eat-Me, one box (1999) - check Tablets, Steradent, two boxes - check Bowl, large, blue and white stripe - check Coronation Chicken, tin, industrial size - check Plates, paper, white - check Packet mix, ice cream flavour (1969) - check Slipper sox, red, slight wear - check Condensed milk, Carnation, tins, two (1983) - check Liquorice, banana flavour, two boxes - check Liners, drawer (that's singular), four rolls (1994) - check Treats, dog, Bobbin for the use of - check Blanket, dog, Bobbin for the use of - check Bed, dog, Bobbin for the use of - check Tena Lady, super-sized, dozens - check Hope I haven't forgotten too much??? Maybe there is a ''Poundland'' at Oxford?? Merry

Sorry for my temporary absence, due to me being detained under the Mental Health Act at Homebase this afternoon. I went in search of a C- tree - any sort, any size, given up being fussy - yes, they said, you're lucky, we havent any fresh ones but we have just reduced all the artificial ones by 50%, here they are moddom.... THEY WERE SIXTY POUNDS! AND THAT WAS HALF-PRICE!!!!!! Needless to say a small scene ensued which I will draw a veil over...and I came away without a s*****ing tree. I HAAAAAATE CHRISTMAAAAAAS. I now have to think of where to go, to get some likely looking bare branches, spray them gold in time for them to dry and then decorate them, oh, after finding a suitable container and getting them to stand upright. My credit card has melted and I havent finished yet, there's still the veg and the booze to do. My daughter has sent my a parcel in my maiden name and the PO wont let me have it cos all my ID is in my married name. I STILL havent written, or sent a single card. Malcolm: As I am usually barely going to bed at 5 am, I am not in the habit of sitting in trees and tweeting at that time of the day, bird flu or no. Do hope your trousers dry soon - ish, but it might be an idea to wash them first? I am off now to have a right royal sulk AND wash my kitchen floor yet again - the cranberry accident has dried to a clear but tacky glaze and I am sticking to the carpets. I am NEVER NEVER doing C--- again! Olde Crone (Warp factor nine million)

So there is yop crowd of to Crones and she and i off to warp factor 9 together - Yes Crone - totall agree if C gets much worse i shall warp off this planet altogether, Going to warp myself of to beddie bies right not - just had enough (back with you tommorow) Merry -i'm okay, abeit only just - talk tommorow

Wasn't someone bringing you a black tree (Crone, I mean)? Merry (Nite Jess x)

yes ok old crone i will put them in the wash along with all the other laundry im good at laundry and housework as my wifes disabled and im her carer so if you want a hand with the cranberry stains give me a shout merry xmas you girls malc

Got to Poundland in Oxford at 6am this morning.....It didn't seem to be open, so I used a ski to force the back door (not alarmed, because the staff had their Xmas party last night and left in too much of a rush to remember.) ''Borrowed'' the following gifts, to add to the ones in my list a few posts back......... Two more pairs of slipper sox - one pair vomit orange, one pair sludge green Assorted pack of 20 glitter pens, one of which may work Pack of three different sized pairs of scissors, none of which will cut Two packs of five pairs of ladies knickers in David Dickinson skin tones (for those in Oz, that's ORANGE) Four packs of bath cubes in ''strip your skin'' flavour There, that should complete the gift list......you don't mind me not wrapping anything, do you? I have now reached Towcester and am having a coffee, courtesy of the kettle I thoughtfully packed............. Should get to you shortly, Jess.......... Merry

Told all my kids, no pressies this year -only for the g.kids. Deep, meaningful silences all round, but have stuck to my guns EXCEPT for son-in-London who never gets anything except his C- hamper. Last year, he complained it was a mess getting delivery of said hamper as no-one was ever at home to receive it. Sooooooooo, this year, detailed husband to arrange to have a Harrod's gift voucher sent instead. Me in early November : Have you organised the gift voucher Him: Not yet Me in mid Nov: Have you done the voucher Him: Not yet Me, late Nov: Wot about that voucher Him: not yet -plenty of time Me: Early Dec: About that b****y voucher. Him: Keep your hair on Me,last week: NOW will you do that voucher!! Him :OK,OK -.........long silence.......Harrod's don't HAVE a gift voucher Me: Well they did last year. Let me see!!!! Oh s***t. All right, it's not too late to send a hamper. What's Kate's work address Him: emails son, gets address, disputes with me how much we should spend. Me: Contacts company. Bother -they need recipients phone number. What's Kate's phone number? Him:Rings son -catches him 4 hours before departure to Zurich. Will you be back for C-mas? OK -what's Kate's phone number? Me: On line, ordering hamper Him: Use my credit card (reads number, mumble mumble) Me: Checking screen - everything right? OK (presses 'send') Him: Did you enter that final '3'? Me: WHAT final '3'? *************** Me:Rings hamper company, explains miscued credit card number, obliging fellow promises to FIX ALL tomorrow morning. Hamper Chap: By the way, we were notified this afternoon, delivery can't be guaranteed before C- Do you still wish to proceed? Me (laughing hysterically):By all means. If Kate is not working between C- and New Year, I'm sure someone will will contact them Hamper Chap: If they can't deliver, they will leave a little card. After 7 days, hamper will be returned to supplier. Do you still wish to proceed? Me, (no longer caring):Go ahead. I can only say'I tried'. Me (to him): Have you bought that bow and arrow for our grandson yet?............... And I haven't even hit the shops for the Reality Stuff yet :-(( Can I come early to the party, Olde Crone, if I lend a hand cleaning up the cranberry sauce and bring the half- used bottle of Merry Widow I have just found while cleaning out the liquor cupboard? Beverley-from-Perth-who-hates-all-C-shopping, even Online

Well, here I am in the garden of Aggie, watching her ENORMOUS drawers on the washing line..............(sure they don't make Tena's that big????!) I know Jess must be hereabouts.........JEEEEESSSSSSSSSS........ JJEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS BOBBBBBBBIIIIINNNNNNNN BOBBBBBBBIIIINNNNNNNNN Is Alan here?? Maybe that's the problem? LOL AAAAAALLLLAAAAAAAANNNNNNN Flippin' heck....I'll go home in a minute........ Oh, hello Aggie! Yes, I was just admiring them......Harvest Home knickers?? Oh, yes.....''All safely gathered in''...............Oh, thank you, Yes, I'd like to take a dozen pairs please. I'm going to a party on C-day, so they're sure to come in useful. Do you know which house Jess, Bobbin and Alan live in?? No????? Oh bother..... Merry

just been checking navigation lights on air craft has had been reading threads now although there was concern for other aircraft on the flight path of the arm chair and although a great idea of shifting so lite would catch the red unmentionable and indicate direction to other aircraft it transpires the port (left side )light MUST BE green and the starboard RED (right side) maybe a green unmentionable could be worn just for the flight by one of you hey merry couldnt you take aggies draws and send em to those travelling by sea twould make a great sail lol

Aggie, bless her Harvest Homes, has made me a cup of tea and some Advocat for the huskies (who are all now asleep).............Am waiting for Jess to remember she is on a mission today......... Malc, I would love to send them some sails, but I don't have their postcode..... Thought they were coming by diesel?? Merry

Cripes merry , so so sorry, got held up. guess the huskies will be refreshed for the journey anyway let me just have wee and then we can set off

Cripes merry , so so sorry, got held up. guess the huskies will be refreshed for the journey anyway let me just have wee and then we can set off

I've just been listening to local radio and apparently there has been sightings over the uk of UFOs people are gathering on the hilltops looking for a golden sleigh, a witch????(we all know this is Old Crone trying to flee the country) a longboat covered in huge white pads and glowing blue, a strange chair like contraption,The Air force has sent out stealth bombers (male drivers) to intercept these strange vehicles and want to take them to Skemersdale(britains answer to Roswell) so beware girls quietly does it we may end up chained to some stange S**K all through the new year having to cook C-dinner for thousands of hunky airmen in the middle of nowhere....Wheres that flare gone?????...Not -so-woe-some-moe! shall i put this on twice like everyone else??????or is that just over-excitment??

LOL Woe! Surely the golden sleigh is moi in my gold lamé commode and roof boxes?? Jess, no worries....the huskies are snoring and I have had a traffic policeman tell me we have to travel under cover of darkness because the gold lamé paint job is too bright!! So, I think we will have to do tonight's journey (Northampton to Gloucester) later on...........Tomorrow night we can do the M5 to Bridgewater, Thursday night Bridgewater to Plymouth and then spend Fri and Sat searching for OC once we have crossed the River Tamar .......... Merry

Im just soooooooooooooooooooo excited, tell you what I'll tell you how excited this<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<?>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> much! there , beggard the whole thread up!

Hello Jess!!!!!! Nice to meet you in person! LOL Maybe, whilst the huskies are asleep, you could make sure you have packed all your stuff into the bottom roof box............what are you bringing? Merry

Tina and Woe....I am now all safely stowed on board the Royal Iris and I await your arrival with some trepidation. Tina please do not worry about the crew snitching to our rellies as they have been well briefed by the admiralty and are aware that our journey is a deep secret. Here are the plans....once Woe arrives, which should be late Thursday evening...we will up anchor and away. Woe can go off to a far corner of the cabin and play Pasty Cline till the tide turns. I shall take the opportunity to enjoy some much awaited Meeeee time....almost forget what that is! Three nautical miles from Olde Crones we will disembark into our canal barge, and prepare to set off distress flares in order that the Gallant Lifeboat men will come and guide us in. I think I have covered every contingency but if you think of anything that may go wrong please let me know? Hope Merry, Jess and Bobbin are enjoying the journey and that Reb Elf is as comfortable on the arm of the chair as I am here. Hope Olde Crone is feeling much better and is looking forward to us all keeping her company. I can hardly wait...... Beryl x

Merry its all in (will tell you about my stuff as we go ~ spent too much time today focusing on other stuff) just take a detour on the way out back over thay school where i can drop loads a shit from a great height, then well be on our way, Jess

Sorry for the delay Jess.....just had to stitch up some holes in the Aggie pants she let me have...... Right, ready for the off....is Bobbin strapped in safely? First stop, school...........I have some huskie effluent........ Merry

Beryl, we are setting off on THURSDAY? Help, I am all geared up to set off Saturday. This is going to involve a serious change of plan, not to say change of gear. Not certain I can organise a window of opportunity to escape on Thursday, but worry not, I will manage it somehow. Merry, I do hope that you are wrong about those cheapo scissors not cutting - I bought some earlier this week. How else am I going to release all the balloons in order for my box to settle gently on the deck of the Royal Iris? I could be up in the air for ever. Shame I was never in the Boy Scouts, or I could tie the sort of knots that can be undone when you want them to be (but stay tied when you want them to as well). However, it's a bit late for that now - unless I could kidnap a passing Boy Scout? Tina (seriously worried now)