Genealogy Chat

Can long boats 'hack' any where ? they tend to 'tootle' dont they?

am i determined to turn the conversation to s** ??????????? isnt my intention and if you think i have then sorry THAT malcolm !!!!!!!!!!!

THAT'S IT........IF I EVER THOUGHT I MIGHT NOT GET TO CRONE'S, TODAY AND LAST FRIDAY SEALED IT!! Today, had my mum here all day, doing a sort of C-day trial run and last Friday had my F-I-L doing the same...........Imagining both at the same time (about 500% worse) makes me want to set off immediately!! Jess, are you ready yet?? Obviously I cannot pick you up until after your interview, and hope that seeing an attractive huskie driven commode and roof boxes on wheels, driven by moi in full combinations, fetchingly worn with the tinsel G-string over the top (and single tassle) and flying goggles, should frighten off any opponents.....if not, then I will just break the legs of the other ''contender'' when I see him/her........ I'll arrive tomorrow evening. Pick you up about 8.30pm. PS - you will know it's me coz the commode and roof boxes are now sprayed with a fetching gold lamé paint......I was worried in case you wouldn't recognise me....... Merry

MMmmmm after the interview - can you cope with a suicidal passenger? just 13 house and 43 mins to go and my fate will be sealed - really would like you to go across the sea if i dont get it , so i can de/camp/disembark/or Jump. In a red tinsel G-string i'd soon get hypothermia and drown Jess x

But you forget that you will beat the other candidate into touch at the first hurdle.....though I still don't believe this other person exists........just made up by employers to stop them looking stupid for interviewing one person and also because they like the idea of POWER and making you feel worried :O(( Anyway.........I will be there like a knight in shining armour, heavily disguised as a woman in tinsel and combinations, to rescue you and take you to Cornwall, heavily strapped in if needs be.........you CANNOT, repeat CANNOT, leap, in a suicidal manner, from the top roof box (height about 3 feet) because it would be far too traumatising for poor Bobbin to witness. YOU CANNOT SPOIL HER C-MAS........ Merry xx

URGENT ---- CHANGE OF PLANS! Woe, Tina and whomever else is interested my hubby, neighbours and various other organizations who are all so looking forward to the festivities without me, have clubbed together to raise enough to enable me to hire The Royal Iris. As all intellegent people will know this is a very famous Mersey Ferry. Not only have I hired the ferry but it is fully crewed and plays continual renditions of Ferry Cross the Mersey. That should halt all criticisms and will also scupper THAT Malc. Yes olde Crone I agree he is obsessed with s...! I suggest that we take the course of action that we usually adopt....ignore him or pretend we have the Headache! Woe and Tina I shall still await you at the Pier Head. It should only take me about 15 minutes to get there from home 20 minutes if I stop to put a bet on as I pass Aintree Race Course. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. Beryl x PS. Have already had to avail myself of some of my supply of Tena Ladies.

OOOOOOH Beryl! This sounds rather exciting! I assume however that the crew of the Royal Iris will only know their way to and fro across the Mersey. Will they be up for a swift dash the length (although not the breadth) of the Irish Sea? I think we should equip ourselves for possibly having to overpower the crew and hijack the boat, so I suggest we bring along as many weapons as we can lay our hands on, and also several lengths of stout rope (or of course chains and manacles should you have happen to have such a thing in a box in the wardrobe). I think I can produce a very long whip, a powder horn (no musket I am afraid, but still, I am half way there), and a collapsable walking stick. We had better bring some maps and a compass (I have one left over from WW1), then we can lash someone to the wheel and force them to steer our chosen course. What an exciting c-mas this is turning out to be. Tina

The Ides of Wotsit are not auguring well for our forthcoming non-festive gathering.... I decided, on a whim, to empty the fridge of the more ancient stuff in order to make room for the C- packed lunches you will all be bringing. One thing led to another and I decided to remove the tray thingy in which you are supposed to store cream cakes (posh fridge). An elderly jar of cranberry sauce launched itself across the kitchen, exploding into a million deadly shards and liberally plastering my BEST, pale grey trousers in fermented cranberry. I have spent the last hour on hands and knees sweeping up powdered glass, cranberries and fluff from the floor. I then had to wash the dustpan and brush. I then had to mop the floor and throw away the mop sponge in case it contained any lethal shards of glass - don't want any of you sustaining mortal injuries just because you decide to mop my floor out of the goodness of your hearts, or because you have had a little accident. My trousers (dry-clean only) are in soak and I am in a right old temper. And yes, I cut myself - right across the foldy bit of my hand.... Olde Crone

wish you'd have said Earlier Crone, i could have come down and rolled in it , and hopefully cut the foldy bit of my throat! Sorry ,will bog off now

Thank you, Olde Crone, I think that was very noble of you to be so concerned about our welfare. (You're not a Health and Safety Officer are you?). However, I doubt if any of us plan to remain sufficiently sober to mob your floor for you, although should Malcolm turn up we could force him to do it. Have to be a cloth and scrubbing brush now, though, since you have thrown away the mop. Personally, I have done enough cleaning this weekend to last the next 10 years. When the beloved computer went pear-shaped last week, I was forced to call in outside assistance (much against my normal course of action). This meant that I had to clean out the study. All the bits of paper (about 5 years worth) dumped into boxes and moved to another room, cobwebs removed from ceiling, window cleaned so that one can now tell if the sun is shining (don't know why I bothered to do that), desk gleaming with polish, 5 dustbin liners of dust swept up and removed. Well, I didn't want him saying the reason it had died was because it choked on the dust (even if it is true). He was very tactful about it really, just commented on the smell of burning when he opened the box up! So, Olde Crone, no cleaning up. But then again, since this party is to be held in the garden, we can just throw the rubbish and left-overs over the fence into next door, so we shall not leave you any mess at all. And re the pale grey trousers, take it from one who has been there, dye them maroon. See you soon. Tina

LOL Jess! All getting a bit too much, is it? No, I didnt actually plan a big clean up, but you know how it is, you do one thing and then spot something else. However, the mood has quite left me now so that's ok. Suppose I had better write some cards or something, seeing as its merely a week away - all the C Trees are gone, by the way, I tried to get one today, none to be had anywhere, not even artificail ones. Oh well, off down the park and dig up a nice Council Shrub, I can always replant it after C - they don't go back to work till Feb 19th. Olde Crone

LOL Jess! All getting a bit too much, is it? No, I didnt actually plan a big clean up, but you know how it is, you do one thing and then spot something else. However, the mood has quite left me now so that's ok. Suppose I had better write some cards or something, seeing as its merely a week away - all the C Trees are gone, by the way, I tried to get one today, none to be had anywhere, not even artificail ones. Oh well, off down the park and dig up a nice Council Shrub, I can always replant it after C - they don't go back to work till Feb 19th. Olde Crone

The Royal Iris!!! Ooooh, how posh. I'm envious. Be warned though girls, the C-party is a princess free zone, so any posh attitudes will have to be left aboard. I'll be travelling on a flying chair with Lara and Billy the dog. Lara and myself will each have to sit on an arm so we don't overbalance the chair, and Billy will have to share the seat with all the provisions. When we have to make a turn the approprate person can wriggle their bum so the tinsel g-string catches the light and flashes like an indicator. Must show some consideration for other aircraft that may be around. Olde Crone, about those trousers. Fiesta them, works on everything. Rebs x

Just a bit, Crone! Tommorow night is the night i plan to write my cards - not done one yet, let alone posted any. Going to give them to who ever if flying down your way, they'll end up somewhere near if i write OS map refs for where to shove them overboard

Reb c'mon I've got a lovely Richard Clayderman cassette ,him tinkering on the ivories would be very gentle and not toooo the' C 'word but don't go going to the big case letters at me cause I will be all upset and all so if its a definate NO what will we do to amuseee ourselves on our trip?........ 'I spy ' or should I bring the cards or the scrabble or the jokes out of last year's bonbons ruuullly funny, or we could play celebrity head or charades cause we don't want to have a boooring trip and me saying 'Are we there yet' all the way , Have fitted Billy with a special tena lady sort of arrangement made out of wee wee training pads for dog's I found these today at the $2 shop he has his little red hat and looks really very cute , not as cute as me of course in this g/string but that would be hard , will see you on Friday then REb or see you might not be right as with head down bum up bit hard to see anything LOL Lara

Oops - We nearly fell off page one! Am just doing a final coat of gold lamé paint to the commode and roof boxes and testing the electricity generator for the hair straighteners Jess is bringing....... Merry

Merry I thought my tearstains would streak the next few replies. I CAN'T COME! It might be different if I had a lovely computer guy like Tina has, but laptop is off limits till new year. I did chop down the Wellingtonia and the friendly man at the post office has PROMISED that it will be delivered by X - day, and I've put some red breasts on a few local pigeons, so they can carry the elderberry down there, but I will be there in spirit alone. (Quite a lot probably). Enjoy yourselves, sob. PS Can anyone think of a CHEERFUL board name for me next year?

LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEE ROFL ROFL ROFL OHHHHHHHHHHHH MY SIDES HURT LMAO LMAO

oh malcolm I do hope you are not laughing at Ebeneza's misfortune. She'll be gutting having to miss it. C-mas just won't be the same.

no of course not its just circumstancial the message appears there LMAO LMAO OHHHHHHHHHHHH TEE HEE TEE HEE i dont think my trousers will ever dry LMAO LMAO