Genealogy Chat

Updated, updated invitees list: Crone Jess Bobbin Merry several huskies Bev Scott Tina Cheshire Pussy cat Ebeneza Macbev in Perth Ang Oop North/Dn South Fairy Smith Buttercup Fairy (not sure??) Gwyn Ding in Kent Reb Elf Wrinkly Grumpy Old Woman Moe in a Muddle Tina.......don't need a boat because the huskies will be towing me, Jess and Bobbin......The huskies don't swim too well, so it's best for us to come by road.........(even with cones.......) Jess - Could you put some sort of alarm on your freezer? I would be worried about Alan and him getting trapped???! I was going to suggest you place a tin opener inside, so he could cut his way out if necessary, but now you seem to be saying he doesn't know how to use one, so that might set him at a disadvantage?? Merry

Blimey look at the time!!! i have been reading this thread for hours, and i am still only on page 8 Thanks for the invite i've now sorted some bits out. I've found some mouldy spongy spuds so they are going in my string bag as are my PCs(patsy clines),I have also got my Tena Lady(with wings) supply out and stuck them all together to make a glider so i will fly down to Old crones, and if TINA is still stuck for a lift i will pick you up just tell me where in cheshire(i'm heading from Liverpool) so i will follow the mersey until i get seasick, ..Do tena ladys disolve into crystals like nappies????if they do then myself and tina will fill them up until we get to OCs house then let rip so it looks like snow over the house(oh the nieghbours will be so!!!!! jealous), present wise i have lots of old certs that are not mine so i will frame them and give them out.(i'll just tippex the names off)... i'll be back tommorrow when i have read the rest of the thread....MOE! now WOE!

Pressies are a bit of a hard thing to find here as we have recently had a clean out oh hang on some of it is still in the trailer waiting to go to salvos , I have some really nice records old 75s and some really clever things that you hook around the door handle and do sit ups supposed to help you lose your tummy but I can assure it will still be there 30yrs. later, I have some very old samples of avon perfume , and some lovely plaster things made by kids when they were little can't tell you what they are but they are ruuullly nice LOL. Now who is in charge please nobody has said Billy can come( see last post from me) and Reb what do you mean undergrowth I've been to Brazil I'm very withit , actually it was a very painful session with the Nads stuff (what doesn't hurt hah ) in my ensuite with Billy dog barking outside the door wondering who was murdering his Mum Reb you havn't told me when you'll be here yet and if the sky is going to rather busy we better get an early start what about Thursday night are we going express or having a stop over somewhere ? oh and I forgot I have some nice Chrissie type cassettes to play on the way and have some nice little snackie things to nibble on the way not fresh of course got them at the' Not Quite Right 'shop so unless you advise me otherwise will be in the middle of the hwy thursday evening with B** suitably positioned upwards waiting lol Lara Fairy what fell of the tree Smith

Look Lara, you know me,rebellious yet congenial. But this time you have gone too far. Don't make me use upper-case girl!!! Listen very carefully,there......... will............ be......... no..........chrissy..........type..........songs......... played..........on.......... the..........jourrrrrrrrney. On the subject of Billy, will he pass customs? for that matter will we lol! I s'pose since Dorothy had Toto, Lara can have Billy, but you'll have to hold onto him all the way. the poor chair ain't that big you know! And I won't pick you up before Friday., otherwise due to the time difference we'll get there before we have left here....kind of. Rebs x ps. might be best if you don't stand bending over with the moon in the backgound. Two round white glowing things might be too confusing for the local drunks, and you don't want to make the front page of the Yackandandah Cronicle for being mistaken as a UFO

Merry - scary thought isn't , being trapped head down in a chest freezer- no point in leaving the tin opener - he cant use it! (well, only the electric one and they dont tend to work well if stored in a freezer, just in case) He'll get by, he'll be safe, because he wont be able to go anywhere - he'll probably sleep thru the whole event anyway , as he has done in years before. I'm dragging him off to the retail park, to buy My pressie in a mo - only way i can be sure to get one!! Will there be a plug in the roof box for my hair straighteners?

It's far too complicated for me to spot who Billy is.....what page do you first, Lara?? Hope he isn't a reindeer? Flippin' heck Jess.........I have just been fitting a shelf to the underside of the commode, under the ''bowl''......I have installed a large portable battery, with cable running into the bottom roof box and an electric plug on the end. This should help you with your straighteners and also the tea kettle that I have thoughtfully squeezed in there too....... Currently, the space for you is looking a bit cramped again. Maybe you could share Bobbin's space ........large....about the size of two big dog baskets (now, there's a thought....)........erm....yes....and then all our ''equipment'' etc can go in the bottom one. Better go.....son (6) is doing the decorations on his own at the mo!!! Merry

Dear Merry, Jess and of course Bobbin....I beg to be allowed to join your Incredible Journey. I feel I have to offer my services to Moe in a Muddle now known as Woe. Due to her very sad circumstances I feel she needs a companion for the journey. The Leeds/Liverpool canal runs through my back garden so I am well fixed for transport as I can borrow a canal barge. I was wondering, however, do I need to order coal...to stoke the furnace or are barges now modernized with the new fangled electicity? This is puzzling me for if they are electric well where do I find a plug or for that matter a socket....Well never mind I am sure if I ask on the tips board some clever soul will furnish me with an answer. They are a clever lot on there you know! I have my pressies ready as I managed to find a dozen bottles of California Poppy perfume from 1950 and also the same amount of Evening in Paris. I think that may be enough to go round without any fighting. As for provisions... I am a bit worried that we may be taking advantage of poor Old Crone...so if Woe in a muddle can make a good pan of scouse we can both do that in a couple of cauldrons on the way down. Once I have your permission I will ask Woe to find a suitable detailed map of the coast line running from the River Mersey to Cornwall. I would also be available to help Tina with her travel arrangements and could also pick up people along the shore line. I await your reply and thank you all in anticipation. Beryl x

Beryl, WELCOME!! Revisted attendees list: Crone Jess Bobbin Merry several huskies Bev Scott Tina Cheshire Pussy cat Ebeneza Macbev in Perth Ang Oop North/Dn South Fairy Smith Buttercup Fairy (not sure??) Gwyn Ding in Kent Reb Elf Wrinkly Grumpy Old Woman Moe in a Muddle Beryl the Peril Poppy So you are taking your canal boat on the open sea????!!!!!!!!!! Should be interesting! They have diesel engines these days. You have to move the rudder to change direction about two days before the boat responds, so it's a good job Cornwall is quite large......you should manage to hit one bit of it, or another....... Has Crone admitted her address yet? Merry

P.S. I also have a little dog (bitch) Poppy she has had a sad life as she was very badly treated. She joined our family from an animal refuge. Unfortunately she is brain damaged and suffers from Manic depression. I can assure you she is absolutely no bother when she is manic it is when she is in her depressive state that things become a little tricky as she guards things. Such as little bits of paper, an old sausage roll a cushion a whole three piece suite but if this happens then Poppy will be quite happily depressed, in the corner with Woe, listening to Patsy Cline. I love my little Poppy to bits...it's not her fault...she can't help it. Please let her come too. Beryl. x

Have amended previous message..... Merry

Thank you so much Merry... I did tell you that some clever soul on the tips board would let me know how to power my canal barge. So it's diese! Well, well, well ...you are never too old to learn. I shall go to the garage later to ask if it should be three star or unleaded. Merry I don't wish to nit pick... just having joined the adventure...but do you think that you should find it odd for a canal barge to be on the open sea when you plan to be on a commode on ski's? Enough said! By the way it is a very special barge as it is an amphibious craft (you may have seen something similar in a James Bond film). This will be an enormous help should we run into any jutty out bits on the coast line. Beryl x

woe, woe woe the boat gently down the mersey, merry merry merry merry will end up lost in Jersey. Morning all changed my name for the journey(in case i get arrested) Beryl i will hitch my Tena lady glider to your barge and glide all the way to ??? where are we going again?have to check back in a woe! the moaner formerly known as MOE!

Cornwall!! its cold down there, oh never mind, Hey beryl hope you like Patsy cline or should i say PASTY CLINEnow we are going to cornwall(gives off a miserable little smirk)I will be blasting her all over the place with my built in speakers i don't have red tinsel Jess only blue and my nieghbour has some blue lights around her door so i will be nice and blue expecially if thats all i have on along with my balaclava......MOE!

Hi there Woe-Moe and Beryl. This is great. After Merry and Jess refused point blank to come as far as Cheshire for me, I thought I was going to have to make the journey all alone. I suggest that Beryl and I both head for Liverpool and pick Woe-Moe up there. I have been making enquiries as to how long it is going to take to sail down to Cornwall and it is not good news. Apparently someone who subsequently wrote a book about it, took 267 hours to sail a narrow boat from the Wash to somewhere further down the East Coast. Sorry this is a bit vague, but I asked hubby (don't worry, he hasn't a clue what I am talking about, but then, he so seldom has!). Since there is a book about this trip, naturally hubby is in the process of reading it. You can't move in our house for books, and hubby is in the middle of reading most of them. Me, I read one book at a time, but then I'm peculiar that way! Anyway, the upshot is we may miss the c-day if we rely totally on the boat, so I suggest that, Beryl, you set out now, and then on c-eve, Woe-Moe and I will attach our air transport to your boat with very long c-garlands, and will tow you down to Cornwall. I reckon our combined power should manage it on time - probably arrive about 5 am, hope Olde Crone will be up by then with a hot toddy and roasted chestnuts waiting for us. Tina (getting quite excited now)

PAGE 17NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW jesus girls these preparations for the party are getting larger than the ones for the D DAY landings then of course it is the C DAY landings isnt it and with barges on the open sea too lolol just done some quick calculations narrow boats must not exceed 4 mph on the canals and its roughly 374 miles from liverpool to lands end so the jouney should take 93.5 hours or 3.85 days non stop i suggest those travelling via this mode leave by the day after turkey plucking monday still reading merry lol

AHH, But malc you did those calculations without realising i am going to be playing non stop cornishPasty cline all the way so i reckon Beryl &Tina will put up some extra pedal power to get there quicker, crafty eh? I have also developed a seasonal Gumboil so i will be wearing my blue tinsel wrapped around my head like Mr Marley off scrooge... moe!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in that case you should hit cornwall round about saturday at 3 just in time to help old crone mix up the punch which im sure beryl an tina will be glad of a glass of especially if theve had their heads down and rear ends up in the air peddling like crazy up telegraph hill on the A38 lol

Dear Woe is me and Tina, don't worry the barge is in the Albert dry dock having an extra long rudder attached and also a rocket power booster tank fitted. I have spoken to the naval attache from the Port of L'pool who has charted our journey and assures me that it will take us no more than 15 hours sailing time. (Haven't got a clue as to how Malc calculated those ridiculous times.)... This of course depends on the state of the neep tide. I can pick you both up at any time suitable to you both and will be docked at the old New Brighton landing stage. You know the one I mean? I'ts easy to run down when the tide is out but it's very hard to get back up if the tide is in. Tina...if you don't know the landing stage just look right opposite the Liver Buildings and you will see the barge. Oh Woe....are you by any chance an......can't help but shudder...an Everton mint? Only ask because of your reluctance to abide by the dress code of RED tinsel. Of course I will enjoy Patsy Cline and for a change I will bring a few good rousing Hymn C.D's. I think I may have Lulu singing 'Michael Row The Boat Ashore'. If you think of anything else you can let me know by semaphore, I will be in my crows nest at 08.00 hrs to receive any messages. Beryl x

i calculated using a well known route planner for roads then transferred it to canals not realising you would be drunk enough to take a narrow boat out on the highs sea however as you are taking the narrow boat onto the high seas i have to say i hope you ban all ice cubes from any intoxicating liquor we do not want a repeat of the titanic and remember england expects every girl to do her duty

Uuuum....Cornwall isnt ON the East Coast, well I dont think it is. However as I live in the thin bit which has an east and a west side, its probably ok -Cornwall doesnt have canals, having more than enough Coastline, so it will be interesting and educational for the locals to see a Longboat hacking past. Now, don't forget distress flares, the local Lifeboat Men are extremely charming and what better boost to a girl's C- Ego to be rescued by a six foot hunk in Oilskins...oooh, no, better not go any further with that, but just remember from your Family History Researches that just about every Nation of the world is represented in the Cornish population, due to shipwrecks and so on, and hunks in yellow oilskins...tighten your Tena Ladies, Ladies. Anyone else noticed that Malcolm determinedly trying to turn the conversation to s** - the reason we are all gathering at mine, Malc, is cos we are FED UP OF DOING OUR DUTY!!!! The over-the-door exercise bunjees will be perfect for firing the returnees high into the sky. We can tie them to my neighbour's shed for stability and turn them into a giant catapult. Hope no-one is expecting a Cornish Pasty? They are now made in a factory in Birmingham and pantechniconned down to Cornwall every day. Olde Crone