Genealogy Chat

Oh, thank goodness you are all still here. I have just had the most horrendous 24 hours. Came in from work yesterday and THE COMPUTER WOULDN'T TURN ON. Nooooooooooooo.!! Cut off from my life-line! Rang computer chap who had been recommended previously - explained what it was, or rather was not, doing. Chap not sounding hopeful. He came round this pm. Computer has died for ever, now have new one! Ok Ok, I know, just before christmas and all that. But I simply could not survive otherwise. Just as well I am coming to Olde Crone's for christmas, as no money left now for food, drink, pressies etc! Have hit a snag with the balloons I was planning to steal. Drove past again yesterday. They aren't balloons, dammit, they are giant balloon shaped light bulbs. Anyone got any old balloons they could send me? Tina

Ooh, poor you Tina......hope the new one is spectacular! Have been thinking about your balloon dilema.......Is there someone who rents out Bouncy Castles in your area? I thought if you stole one of those and filled it with helium that would work? When you arrive at Crone's you could tie it to the chimney as a sort of ''homing device'' for the rest of us to look out for........ Merry

Oh tina - if you take up merry Suggestion do be careful - they are dreadfull to steer! You could end up anywhere in your Pink hellium - filled enchanted castle

Well folks, you are on your own tonight, both merry and i are off out! No, not together (i wish....) but both to really boring - ''do -i -have-to?''- kind of do's. Suppose i'd better go and get the old glad rags on See you later! jess x

Kat I have been studying the Atlas to try and decide which side of Cornwall I'm on, but Cornwall doesn't really have any sides. If its any help, its the side nearest to Ireland - but not VERY near, just on the same side. I don't know if your Captain would do a detour, I suppose it depends which way he's going, but perhaps I can whip up some bad weather which means you will have to take shelter, either in St Ives Bay (no problem, I can pick you up) or Falmouth, which won't be too bad either - you just need to hike 4 miles to the bus depot, get a number 43, I think, that's a regular service on Tuesdays and Saturdays (if the driver turns in for work, of course). You will then have a lovely scenic bus journey of some nine hours - ask to be dropped at the crossroads and then thumb a lift from there. Don't worry about balloons, I have balloons (I KNEW they would come in handy!) Some say Happy Eleventh Birthday, some say Happy Barmitzvah, but there's plenty of them. Check them for pinholes though, won't you. I'm surprised that Merry could even SUGGEST that Bobbin would entertain such a disgusting idea, she obviously has no personal knowledge of Spinster Lady Springer Spaniels, but now you have put the idea in my head, I'm such a worrier - Jess, perhaps a strategically-placed Tena Lady????? We will NOT be having barbecued Reindeer Quarters on C-Day, as the Reindeer have all been selected for their three-leggedness, and will need all of these for their return journey. Olde Crone

Please can I come to the party, I need cheering up have to take my little boy to have his bits chopped off on Monday hoping that this will stop him peeing all over the house and I feel so guilty , and I am married to Santa and someone picked his pocket on Tuesday while he was sat in his grotto and took the money for my crimbo pressie, bloody poor show when even Santa gets robbed , I can bring a couple of bottles of 20 year old home brew, forgot to mention that my little boy is a two year old chihuahua

Updated Guest List (please advise if I have left you off as Olde Crone will be cutting the bamboo in her neighbours garden to make the straws for the sprout soup by the end of the weekend..............so she will need NUMBERS) Crone Jess Bobbin Merry several huskies Bev Scott Tina Cheshire Pussy cat Ebeneza Macbev in Perth Ang Oop North/Dn South Fairy Smith Buttercup Fairy (not sure??) Gwyn Ding in Kent Reb Elf Wrinkly and.......Grumpy OW <<<<added afterwards, see following post - Sorry Grumps! Welcome Wrinkly to our humble party! You may (or may not) have noticed that I have already returned from tonight's party. It was an alcohol free bash for the Scouts/Guides etc and families........My son was sick over me after 10 mins and so for the rest of the event I sat stinking of vomit and in damp, partly washed clothes. He, of course, was right as rain, having taken off his disgustingly smelly and dirty Darth Vadar suit which he popped into my handbag. He had a hotdog and chips afterwards....... I was feeling very fed up, but cheered myself by considering it would be good training for 25th..... Merry

you missed me off the list oc. and todays secret santa was a teddy bear and a leapord skin handled whip, i was going to share. have been lashing the new boy all day. great fun i nicked the skirlie and soggy roasters as i left work tonight and have despatched them forthwith. good old pigeon post. hope they dont smell the skirlie as its made with pin oatmeal and they might want to eat it. the brussells and carrots were beginning to honk a bit, but thought tina could use them to fuel her balloons shaped lights or bouncy castle whichever she manages to nick first. will be off line for a few days, but the time wont be wasted. will be at mothers and mils riffling the cupboards for suitable xmas fare. you cant be expected to provide it all . will start my trek as soon as i can empty the snow out of my 3 x too big wellies and join the red bin bags together with duck tape so as to cover my larger than life torso. i might let the red tinsel thong glistern in the moonlight so i dont get run over by huskies pulling pram wheeled roof boxes. i know i wont fit in either. but if i get there before you set off maybe you could give me a tow. I will nick a shopping trolley from tescos for the use of.

Oops....sorry Grumpy....I am now amending the list - thank you for your swift reply.....goes to show at least ONE person is reading this! Excellent idea about the shopping trolly....... Merry

Merry - so, your very own little 'Deer' (HOHOHO) was sick all over you? That's the magic of C-! Kids vomiting all over you, makes it all worth while, doesn't it? (Either I am going mad, or GR are censoring a few words out of each line of my postings, turning them into gibberish) Olde Crone

thanks for that merry. whilst im in tescos area im sure i could stock up on the various forms of tena lady to suit us all. i feel sure that the larger size would be more appropriate for your all in one suit with the little trap door a hint form a reasonably seasoned mother, always take home the sick bags from any air flight you do, or get hubby to. ideal for the handbag, car and shopping trolley journey to cornwall even for kids 17 and 19!

I'm sure GR would never censor you, Olde Crone........ I am now sitting here (10.33pm) in cozy PJ's, fluffy dressing gown and feet in the vibrating foot warmer, which is switched off at the mo, I'm sure you will be glad to know........ I am feeling MUCH BETTER, but...........................................................I'm sure this is NOT what ''nights out'' used to be?? Merry (PS looking forward to Grumpy's suppies!)

Large Tena's.........had half hoped they might turn out to be large wads of.........................................................£10 notes????? Guess not?!! Merry

Olde Crone - I don't care what it says on the balloons - send them quick, c.......... post now, so better use carrier pigeon. The pigeon should find me OK if it follows the scent of Grumpy's honky carrots. Thanks, Grumpy, but not convinced that you can fuel bouncy castles with honky carrots. Still, if I secrete a few about my person, it should keep the family at a distance and allow me to make my escape more easily. The box I intend to travel in is coming on a treat. I have given it 2 coats of red gloss paint, and intend to apply the gold glitter go-faster stripes tomorrow morning. As I do not want the family to get wind of this, it is being decorated in a friend's garage. Of course, friend's husband wanted to know what was going on, so we told him that it is for my hubby's christmas present. The story is that I am going to place it at the foot of the bed after he is asleep on c....... eve, and then hide in it. It will have a large label bearing his name. When he awakes in the morning and opens the box, I shall leap out clad only in a pair of flashing reindeer antlers,my red tinsel g-string and a couple of gold stars, strategically placed. I have drilled little holes all around the top of the box ready to attach the balloons when they arrive. I said they were air-holes so that I can breathe. Friend's husband is suitably impressed and has promised to keep quiet. Men are just so gullible! Tina

Bend over did you say REb well be warned you'll think it's a full moon girl LOL I will of course be wearing Tena Lady under neath my gorgeous g/string that I have made from the suspiciously straight jacket looking thing I was being offered at the ??? Resort???? my husband was trying to get me to go to LOL Its of course been tarted up lots of sequins and dangly bits....... oh no not my dangly bits beads etc and I will reinforce the a***se end to make sure it doesn't give way and drop me off in deepest africa or egypt or that ibethia (Spelling)sounds like the type of place one should try to reallllly avoid especially looking so fetching in a g/string like moi does, Found some smoked oysters use by 1997 bought home from mums pantry, but I'm sure they will be nice by the time we have had a slurp or two of the h/made baileys with the out of date carnation added I have forgotten to ask can I please bring Billie (cavalier) he's had his op so technically he is not a boy any more anway he doesn't know he is even a ..... (whispering) ..... DOG so he won't be trying any funny stuff with ....Dogs OMG Reb What day should I bend over in the middle of the murray valley hwy. It's about 70kms from Yackandandah so don't want to be standing there for ages especially as there are lots of trucks going thru to Echuca at the moment don't want to cause a major rd smash cause what truckie could resist looking at the sight of me bending over in my gstring with Tena lady all exposed , and run right up the hooter of some truck in front of him, will it be night or day when you come as could wrap my self up in xmas tree lights so as you can find me and run up and down as no other lights will be moving so you'll know its me ok let me know please Lara

Oh horror! A gentleman by the name of Allan Oakes has put a (genuine) query on the Tips Board. When I read the title I though he was planning to rename Olde Crone's village when we all arrive for her party. Thread title starts 'The Town of ..........' You will have to look for the name yourself - I could not possibly bring myself to type it here! Tina

Tina - just be grateful you don't live there - its near Hyde.

I have just seen Alan's thread! LOL A kind man named Malc has just sent me a PM suggesting we have a New Year party as well as this one...................... Not sure if I can cope with that??? Maybe we can discuss it at Olde Crone's on Sunday-week? Tina.....I will be putting go-faster stripes on my commode and Jess and Bobbin's roof boxes too.....great idea! Thnaks!! Merry

Nooooooooooooooo, I dont go 'fast'! (Mind you the way i am hacking this morning a slow trot into town is going to be a challenge.serves me right for getting my ribs out last night in a cold old school. should have kept my liberty bodice on)

Jess, you cannot be poorly for Monday. Have abandoned go faster stripes in favour of covering the outside of said items with cottonwool balls, as this should slow us down a bit.....also an earlier departure date...... Our whole family are hacking nicely........Going swimming in a mo (hope son doesn't vomit in the pool!)....then C-mas shopping for the souls I shall be leaving behind on about the 23rd. Son is moaning about shopping, prob because he will be a man one day and is getting into practice. My mum usually gives me a bit of money towards the c-mas cooking and this year I thought she was Very generous when she handed me the customary envelope.....I'm sure you will totally appreciate how i felt, though, when she announced that I am to get ALL her C-mas pressies from her (for the family) .....so that's from her to me, from her to my kids, from her to my husband, from her to my father-in-law and then I have to do the same from my father-in-law to the same group, and from my kids to the same group.........Confused???? You bet I am! ..................................... Merry