Genealogy Chat

Every week for the past 8 weeks I have had the same person send me the infamous 'thing' can i see your tree. Every time i reply that if she can tell me who she is looking for and if there is a link, then i may consider it. I never get a reply except 'can i see your tree please'. THICK or what???????????

E. M. Brown - if you delete somebody from your contacts list, you are right, they can still contact you. Even if they deleted you from their contacts list, they could still contact you, just by going through the original process of finding somebody listed in your tree. There is no way of blocking messages from another member on this site; I have occasionally wished there was! Well, apart from reporting them to GR and asking them to ban them, but that is a pretty drastic step to take, isn't it? Kate.

Mayoress Well, seeing that my Mary Bell is a married in, and I don't have a clue about her origins, I doubt if we can help each other much...but we could try.... OC

So OC If you and I are hotmatched can I view your tree please.. It has to be right LOL Mo

I think Peter may well have the answer... Yes, I DID delete this person from my contacts, previously. This is indeed a strange and wondrous Site - why make things SOOOOO difficult and confusing? Anyway - message deleted - member will have to contact me again with a bit of info, and I shant be opening my tree. Thanks everyone OC

Hi Gillian I think it is the case that the only way to find the automated responses is if you access the message from an email, when you then find yourself on the d o t c o site. If you click the 'new messages' line under 'My homepage' then you don't get the option. But.... my homepage is inviting me to test out the beta version of the latest family tree (which tediously continues to ignore input from baptisms and has no box for burials) so perhaps there are changes on the way.

I 've experienced this before as well. Normally, when you delete someone you have contacted before, from 'My Contact' if you re-establish contact with each other, their name will reappear, together with their previous messages. However, if you delete someone and they subsequently send you one of those automated message such as 'Can I see your tree?', for some reason, you will receive the message, but they will not re-appear in My Contacts. If you ask them to re-eastablish contact by clicking on one of your names, this should cause then to appear again. On the other hand, you may not want to get back in touch.....!

The 'tick' box is on outgoing messages......ones which you send to a contact. It has never, as far as I know been on incoming messages............. Reg

Reggie LOL Yes, it is underlined. Where did that reassuring tick box go though? And why? OC

I have now done a quick bit of sleuthing and found this member via their membership number. With sinking heart, I recognise that we have already had correspondence (under their OLD board name), where I told them they had their facts completely wrong. So they ain't seeing my tree! Message deleted. But still curious as to why/where this printed bit of GR stuff comes in a message - I have never seen it before. OC

The 'give permission to view my tree' is underlined, which indicates that you have to click on it to activate it...... Unless you have received a totally different message from the eight I have had today......... Reg

if you can give me a name to search for (one in your tree) then perhaps I could contact you about the person and you can see whether it does the same with my message if it does you can reply to me and I'll let you know if it lets me acces syour tree does that make sense? Zoe (who promises not to steal your identity)

Reg - I think the problem is that there isn't the usual little box to click to give permission, which gives the impression that you are giving permission by default. OC - if you reply to that message surely then they will appear in your contacts list and you can then untick the tree permission, if it is ticked? Tina PS. Must admit I am not quite sure that I would risk it myself, though.

Is there any way that you can find this person and send them a message other than replying to theirs? For instance, 'quick search' on their name - oh, no, just realised, it probably only gives a first name on the message, doesn't it? But it will say their full name on the email that told you there was a message, won't it? If it says their member number on either the message or the email then you might be able to find them via the quick search, anyway. Otherwise, you could just wait to see if they contact you again with more of a message. Kate.

If you use the 'reply' button, without clicking on the 'permission' bit, you won't give access. Reg

Thanks Tina, I do understand what you are saying! I recently pruned out my contacts to make a manageable 5 page list. This person does not appear on there by date, first name or second name.It isnt a board name either, but a straightforward sort of name. I am tempted to just delete the message - I am certainly not going to risk opening my tree by default.

Hi OC. How very odd. Have you tried shutting down GR and then opening it up again? Sometimes I find that tidies things up in my inbox. However, if you have had a message and they are not showing up in your contacts (I presume you have clicked on 'Date' to get the most recent contact at the top), then I would suspect that they have contacted you before, because the date arrangement seems to be by first contact, so if you get a more recent message, it just adds itself on to the list you already had for that name, but does not move the name to the top of the list. (Are you following this or am I rambling again?). Trouble is, the name that shows in your inbox is not necessarily the name that shows under contacts, so you may not recognise it in contacts when you see it. Great system this, isn't it. None of this solves your problem, I am afraid. Personally, I would go looking through contacts for someone with the same first name as the person who is demanding to see you tree, then you will have to click on each contact that matches first name to see if they sent you a message today. This of course presupposes that they are going by normal names - if not, I have no idea. Sorry Tina

Just had a rquest from a GR member for permission to view my tree. GR member does not state where the connection might be. At the bottom of this message it says Give permission to view my tree. There is no option to turn this permission off.(No tick box, in other words) I would like to ask this member a few questions, but cannot see how to reply without automatically giving permission to view my tree?The message is not yet appearing in my Contacts list. Puzzled olde Crone.

See below