Genealogy Chat

Crystal Tips I see what you mean and as you say it was on a different thread. I can see that you meant no offence and am sorry if I have caused any. I just wanted to explain why I posted on the board what may have seemed like a personal message when it wasn't. Regards Helena

I am sorry if I have given offence. That was not my intention, which is why I tried to keep the message sounding as general and impersonal as possible. The point was a general one that everyone should be aware of which is why I posted it as a new thread. If it had been directed at you ladies only I'd have posted it on the original thread. Nobody else would have known what I was referring to without reading back through every thread which I'm sure people wouldn't have bothered to do. The problem with written communication, especially with strangers, is that we only have the words to guide us and won't necessarily know the writer's thoughts. Things can come across sounding differently than they were intended to. Although your comments were politely worded, I was left feeling that I had made a nuisance of myself. Very best wishes C

Can I just add that I was making a request to Donegal Girl on the board, in public as to e-mail her would have made it more difficult for her to say no and I feel that e-mailing wasn't appropriate. We do not 'have an understanding' - it was a look up request from someone I knew was more knowledgeable that me. It was a request like others on the board and no different. I'm sure every person who replies to a request doesn't expect to then get lots of requests from others. Donegal Girls message asking people to stop e-mailing was very polite and I know that she had done lookups for some who did email her and was happy to do them but it was a favour because Erie is not her area of expertise - She has look up offered threads for the araes she's happy to do lookups for. Hope this clarifies why thread was on the boards initially best wishes to all Helena

Hello Crystal Iam sorry if you feel the comments were directed at you, but I think if you read it properly you will find it they were not. My exact words were I had done these two looks ups yours and Helena,s being the only two on there --but was not offering to do look ups and hoped people would stop emailing me. Added By Donegal Girl on 14/04/2007 22:12:44 | Update Message | Delete Message Helena Yes saw that on here today brill. Can I just say to people who are emailing me no more please have done these two as a favour but am not offering look ups in the Eire. Northern Ireland look ups offered on Records Board. Kindest regards Maureen

Could I politely suggest that if people want to request a look up from an established contact who they know will be happy to do the look up for them, but not for anybody else, that they make that request by way of a private message to that person rather than on a public message board thread? Other people reading the thread will not know that there is an 'understanding' between those individuals and might, in good faith, post their own request for a look up, thinking that the member is happy to do them. It could cause a great deal of embarrassment when comments are posted further down the thread about others joining the thread and making unwelcome requests for look ups and the inconvenience of having to do them. All that could be avoided by private messaging. Hope this doesn't sound too critical. Just think it makes sense.