Genealogy Chat

Why wont someone take no for an answer? Someone contacted me a while ago and while i didnt think we had a connection i gave that person the parents first names (only)...Now, down the line, she's shared her tree with me and when i asked why all i got was...'show your tree' again i asked...'show your tree' was the only response!... Aaarrrggghhh!

Mhairi I think some newbies don't understand that it takes more than a matching name for the person to be their relative. I also think some people - and not just newbies either - are accidentally sending 'open your tree' messages AND 'I have opened my tree' messages. I have a contact on here - we have been corresponding for about a year - who has sent me FIVE messages this week telling me she has opened her tree to me - she already had, anyway, a long time ago. OC

Hi Perhaps your next response should be.....No Response...lol Tricia

I dont think i will respond any more. I am 90% sure there is no connection eg births different sides of scotland. OC I know there have been some problems but the last message was slightly changed so i'm pretty sure she knows what she's doing, if not... The reason i got in touch with her in the first place was to tell her i could she her tree and that i didnt know why but i knew there was something wrong with gr at the moment. Mhairi

Mhairi I have given up telling people they have given me permission to see their tree - I currently have permission for about 50, none of which are of the slightest use or interest to me, and none of which I asked for! OC

I had a message from someone the other day asking to view my tree, nothing else. So I replied and asked who they were interested in to make sure it wasn't GR playing up. She replied with you have ' a name that was her name' and date of birth in your tree and I wondered if there were 2 of us. Thing is I don;t even have that name in my tree. Sometimes this website has a mind of it's own

Isn't this what the site is all about, checking for contacts.I sometimes think we loose sight of this. Some people are more articulate than others, and go about it better than others. I always make a point of replying, whether or not I receive a 'proper' message or just an 'I have opened my tree' and 'Can I see Yours' one If there is clearly no hope of a connection, I have a fairly standard reply that I use, More often than not this brings a thank you for responding message from the person and that is the end of the matter. Try something on the lines of. ''Dear Mary, many thanks for your contact, and for letting me see your tree (or whatever) I am afraid that this is a different family altogether. My John Smith came from Birmingham, and as far as I can tell, did not have any connections in Manchester. Good luck with your research''

Peter i did do that but she still wanted (wants) me to open my tree to her. I have been, and always am, polite but i'm starting to get a little bit annoyed. Why keep emailing even after i've explained there is no connection? According to her this site is for looking for connections (which i agree with) and just because we have the same name (sent to her by hotmatches) it has to be the same guy...no hun. Why am i going to open my tree to someone who doesnt have a connection to me? She's opened her tree to me, i could be anyone. She has recent names in her tree and i'm sure that if i wanted to i could find out where they lived, it just opens the door to fruad in a world where we are all told to be careful with our personal details. *takes deep breath* I hope that my last message, very final but not rude, will have got my point across. Mhairi