Genealogy Chat

Of people who merely send a request saying : Can I look at your tree ? Well the answer I'm afraid is going to be no, unless you can give a little more information. Sorry for the rant but I am so sick of people being rude to me when I merely ask them for a little more information before I open my tree to them ! After all the stuff on here about being careful who you give access to your tree to, then I am a bit more vigilant I have to say. Rant over.....I just don't like bad mannered people. M x

Hi Mags I know what you mean I have had the same thing. When I look at their tree, if they have given me access, and told them there is not a connection they say but I have opened my tree open yours. I haven't asked them to show me their tree and if there is not a connection I am certainly not opening mine. I always send a message to people with an explanation about the person I think we maybe connected to asking if there is a connection. I do not ask to see there tree unless they come back to me and it looks possible there is a connection. I think some people are in too much of a hurry these days. Regards Jill

I've also had a few encounters of this sort. I was contacted by someone who wanted to see my tree but didn't explain why. Naturally I responded by asking them for more information on the so-called connection and their reply to that was a single name, no dates/place/spouse etc......and another brusque request to see my tree. I really hate being put in the position where I have to say no and then have to justify my decision to them. If they feel they have a genuine link then they should be pre-prepared with what information they have on the relative they're researching so that the owner of the tree can make an informed decision as to whether they open their tree or not. Deb:)

Thanks for your comments. That's exactly what happened with me. I received a reply stating a single name and a really rude comment ! Needless to say, I won't be opening my tree to this person and have deleted their emails. Best Wishes M x

I agree. Now, I actually do open my tree up quite a lot, and I like sharing trees, I don't have an issue with that at all, it's the main reason I joined GR. I do, however, get fed up with messages like those mentioned. Short requests with no details at all, or 'Oh you have John Smith, he's my grandad, can you tell me where you fit in?' Well actually, there are thousands of JS's and he's not related to you. I don't have a problem with people asking, but please give more information so I can tell you if we are linked or not! Otherwise I just send you back a snippet of my info asking if you think there's a link, but half the time you never reply anyway! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Laura

I am having to bite my tongue very very hard today, after receiving a reply to a hotmatch query. Now, this relative is my personal brick wall, and I am exploring some of the wilder possibilities, having exhausted all the likely ones. Hot Match has correct name and birth year, but no place of birth. Normally, I wouldn't bother, but... The reply was basically, I don't know a thing about this man, I am very busy and do not have time to answer the 400 hot matches who have contacted me. Well, matey, can I first suggest you put the place of birth in your tree - if it IS my man, he is dead easy to find on all the censuses. That might stop some of the stupid queries which so annoy you. Secondly - I WAS going to offer you quite a lot of information about this man. You can go and boil your head now. OC

Well said OC. There's just no excuse for rudeness! The only time I'll ever just use the request is if I've been in touch with someone and we've talked about sharing trees but for someone reason it hasn't happened and I forgot to post it in my last message - easier to just click the 'show tree' bit (although easier on this new system I think). Not sure if that actually made any sense! Never mind. I'm sure they won't bother reading this anyway! Laura

I think the GR automated messages should require people to give more information on the person they are interested in. Can't be that diffiuclt to organise surely ?