Genealogy Chat

Through various efforts I wrote to who I thought was my great aunt the other day.
Turns out the address wasn't her but that of my second cousin who I've never met.
She's left a message on my answerphone today suggesting that we meet. She lives less than 20 miles away from me.
I'm blown away! I reckon she is the same age as me so no generational gap to overcome but I'm also really nervous - what do you talk about? Do I take family photos with me to first meeting?
Anyone else gone through this? Any advice? Am I hoping for too much to hope that we might become friends?

Hi Lady in Red, I met a cousin by marriage that had 'found me' on here ...it was fine :)) and yes i would take some family photos definitely, a good 'ice breaker' ... I am sure you will find lots to talk about, just the day to day things that we all have in common, work, families, GR lol,just be yourself .

I have met cousins of my husband. We all brought photos; as R Rose says, they do break the ice.

Don't be nervous; it'll be fine!

I too have met 'cousins', some of whom I knew of and had never met, and others I discovered whilst searching. All of them have been lovely, so glad to meet me. If they do genealogy then you'll be able to swap stories and photos, but photos are always good anyway.

I have met cousins also and took photos etc with me. In one case I aslo took my mum, which was very handy as this cousin and my mum knew the same relatives but in differing ways!

We initially met in a cafe and then went from there.

It's great for you!

Best of luck,

Rachelle

Thanks all - making me feel less apprehensive...
Willl let you know it goes after it happens

I too found by chance that a 2nd cousin I'd never met was living within a few miles of my home, even though our grandmothers had lived in Wales.

I agree, ..photos are a great icebreaker. She even had some taken at my parents' house. When we managed to scan and see some negative printed photos she had, they turned out to be of my own parents' wedding !

Enjoy sharing stories.

Gwyn

The title of this thread reminds me; I started to write a book about the family tree and entitled it 'Meet the Family'.

Lord knows when someone will be interested enought to read it. Ungrateful lot, my family!

Funny you should mention a book, wildgoose. I have several accounts of families in my collection. One was written by a cousin of MIL, who wrote down the stories her mother had told, and with a large family some of it was rather entertaining. Another lady I 'met' on here sent me a piece she had written about a mutual family.
And finally another 'cousin' I 'met' on ancestry directed me to a family history written in 1898, which had over 500 pages, photos, coats of arms, family trees. This stopped with my ggrandfather. My brother said we should continue the story, it now belongs to us.

It's finding the time to actually sit down and do it though, isn't it?

I have written a booklet with photos about my g grandfather. He was such a rogue he is interesting. I have never actually got it printed and bound as I kept finding new bits to add. I think I am about done with him so I might as well go ahead. Now all I need are the readers!

I am sure you will have a lovely time

HOWEVER

please please please follow the basic rules for meeting someone you don't actually know

meet in a public place
make sure someone knows where you are going, who you are meeting and when you plan to be back
don't disclose too much personal info e.g. address, children's names and schools etc etc until you know this person better

there are lots more, all common sense, but please be careful

I met a second cousin in Canada through family history. We corresponded for a while (now there is Skype!) and eventually went to visit.
Her husband spotted me in an arrival hall at the airport in a huge milling crowd because I was so like my cousin!
We share looks, interests and, best of all, family stories passed down from our grandparents on opposite sides of the Atlantic - lots of proof and artefacts, photos and blood relations.

go for it - slowly.
good luck
Jill

I've spoken to great aunt on phone tonight - hping to meet her & second cousins on Friday. Will let you know how it goes xx

Hi Bev, thanks for asking. Couldn't manage it last week so going on Thursday. Getting nervous now!

tomorrow the big day....

I'm sure that you will have a great time and share lots of things!

Make sure you write and tell how it all went!

Just one tip I found useful, I downloaded my tree and a relationship chart so I could see how everyone in it related to me and took it with me. That way when names of relatives, spouses and children where discussed, I could look it up and work out where they fitted in with me.

Cheers

Rachelle

Rachelle

Hope all went well today. Bet you are mentally exhausted.
I have met family in cafes and now we have lunch every month or so and email every week.
last year I found that my hairdresser was a 4th cousin...........now she makes a good job of my fringe !!!!!!!!
Joan x

Hello all. Well, been there and met my great aunt and two second cousins. It was amazing. They've lent me a load of photos of my grandparents and great grandparents (why is it that they all look so scary in their photos? Do you think our grandchildren will say the same about us in years to come?)
Have got lots of extra names filled in on tree and lots more things to follow up on.
Great aunt opened the door and said "my you are obviously May's daughter - you look just like her".
We'll certainly be keeping in touch from now on.
She was married to my grandmother's brother. Gran was born in 1908 but no father named on birth cert and Gran's parents didn't marry until 1911 so I've always wondered who gran's father really was. I asked her if she knew anything and she was shocked at the revelation - knew nothing about it but swears that the family all resembled each other so much they must have had same parentage so maybe great grannie gave birth to gran out of wedlock but later married the real father? I'd like to think so because I'd like this family to be part of me. We'll never know for certain.
Anyway, thanks to you all for your interest

Great news ! You will sleep well tonight with a smile on your face no doubt.
Best wishes for you and your new family x
Joan

So glad that it went well for you!!

Isn't it amazing how much genes carry through so when people who have never met you recongnise other relatives in your looks or mannerisms!

That's great they have shared photos etc with you!

Rachelle